Accolade

chapitre vingt-quatre

I had a horrible hangover. 

It was one thing that I knew from listening to other people in the studio bellyache about on most Monday mornings. I had always thought they were faking it or overdramatising it, but they really weren't. A hangover felt like someone crashing a hammer into your skull over and over. I hadn't even opened my eyes and I could feel the lashing pain in my forehead and temples. It was bad enough that I might swear off alcohol for life. 

My throat was sore and my mouth was so dry, I wouldn't be surprised if there was sand in there. Eventually, the need for water got me out of bed. I dressed in an oversized sweatshirt and cotton shorts before I headed into the hallway. I heard movement in the kitchen and as I entered, I peeked at River. 

I could barely keep my eyes open. My apartment was filled with natural light, which I had loved when I was first looking to rent it, but now it was my worst enemy. I went to the sink and River turned to raise an eyebrow at me, "Not feeling well, then?" 

"Don't be cocky," I grumbled, filling a glass with cool water. 

"I told you," River said. There were the winning words, I knew he must have been dying to say them. Every sibling was. I retreated to the other side of the counter and fumbled into a chair, trying to keep my eyes closed to tolerate the migraine. 

"You didn't make me drink more water?" I whined, setting my forehead down on the counter, "I don't remember alot, what happened?" 

He sighed, sliding my painkillers across the counter to me. "You were so drunk you forgot we were siblings." 

"What?" I lifted my head. "How's that possible?" 

"You tell me." 

"Did I say anything embarrassing?" I took a mouthful of water, popped my pills, and swallowed. It wouldn't be long before the painkillers kicked in, they usually took about twenty minutes. I knew this because they made my head feel funny first. 

River blinked at me with suddenly empty eyes. Any expression that had been lurking on his face quickly left, as swift as rain decided to hide in the clouds. Somehow, I knew I had said something that upset him last night, even as he told me, "No." 

"Okay," I replied. I wasn't going to push the subject. He had told me it wasn't a good idea to drink last night but I had insisted and he respected my wishes. Part of me couldn't believe I had talked my eldest brother into it. I expected him to be firm in his opinion but perhaps I was an exception. His weakness. "What are we having for breakfast?"

"I was hoping french toast and bacon was okay?" He returned to normal. As normal as we could pretend to be in these times, anyway. "If you wanted something else, I can make it." 

My heart warmed in my thin body. "No, no, french toast sounds really good." I fidgeted with the end of my sweatshirt for a moment. "Thank you." 

River glanced at me over his shoulder. Those intelligent eyes were back with their intensity, maybe I would never get used to how unnerving he could be with a simple gaze. "You don't need to thank me." 

"But still, it's nice of you," I felt my cheeks heat up. I was alittle embarrassed now that I thought about how much my brothers did for me. I needed to pay them back. "You don't have to do anything." 

"Aida," He said my name with the sharpest tone, it made my spine straighten, "I admire how much you humble yourself, but sometimes I wish you wouldn't make yourself so small in this world." 

"What do you mean?" I stammered. 

"It's okay to accept help without feeling helpless. It's okay to admit when you're not okay. It's okay to let us take care of you without feeling like you're a burden. We're here for you, Aida, not for you to keep us at a distance."