Accolade

trente quatre

"Aida, wake up."

I startled. For a second, I had been sleeping so deep that I wasn't sure where I was and then I felt someone shift behind me. My eyes opened and I blinked to clear my vision. There was a weight around my middle and I glanced down to find a tattooed arm holding onto me.

Warren stirred again and his arm withdrew. A small grunt escaped him as he stretched. I was laying on my side and Auden was crouched right before me. His eyes were warm.

He gave me a smile. "Morning, Little Aida. You look like you slept good."

"I think so," I mumbled.

Warren got out of bed on the off side and I turned onto my back to look at him. His gaze was calm. "Hey," he gruffly said.

"When did we fall asleep?"

"You fell asleep first and I couldn't get my arm out front underneath you."

I actually rolled my eyes at him. The big baby couldn't admit he had chosen to stay with me. I think it was the first time I slept so soundly without the influence of drugs keeping me half sedated. I had no idea when my other two brothers had come back in after giving us some privacy.

I turned my head to face Auden again. "What did you need?"

"I actually don't need anything," he said, reaching out to tame some of my hair from my face, "There's someone here to see you."

"Who?" 

"Lucy, she came about fifteen minutes ago. She's waiting in the lobby on the first floor. I told her that I'd ask if you wanted to see her."

I almost asked him why I wouldn't want to see my best friend until I remembered our fight. The last time I had seen Lucy I had screamed at her because she was right and I hadn't wanted to admit it. She had truly only ever cared for me. She had asked me to see the doctor months before I fell, months before the cancer was in its worst stage. She had tried to help me and I shut her out. 

I was hurt and I had hurt her. 

"Can you go get her for me?" I asked.

"Of course," Auden nodded, "Do you want some privacy again? Or would you prefer that one of us stays?"

"Privacy, please," I said, exhaling, "We're not going to fight again. I actually should apologize for my behavior the last time she came to see me."

"Okay," Auden obliged and left the room.

"I'm gonna go find coffee," Warren yawned and then he left.

My eyes turned to River. I knew he had been listening, he was always observing, but his chin was propped up against his palm as he gazed out onto the city. He did that more often now. His mind wandered away with him.

There was once a time where I wanted to know what he was thinking. But now, I wasn't so sure. I didn't want to know what it was like to see myself like this. I didn't want to know what it felt like to think about the worst case scenarios and pray that there would be a miracle.

I couldn't imagine being in my brothers shoes.

"Did you get any sleep?" I found myself asking.

His blue eyes drifted to me. He blinked once and the ghost in his expression vanished. "Enough," he replied, "Do you want me to bring anything back for you?"

My tired heart warmed, but I shook my head. I hadn't had an appetite since I'd been admitted into the hospital, only a few bites of applesauce. One of the many lines clinging onto life for me kept me hydrated. "No, thank you. You should get outside for a bit, breathe some fresh air. It gets stuffy in here."