Accolade

vingt-neuf

The rain was healing. 

It didn't often rain in New York City during the summer. Most of the days were hot enough you could fry eggs on the sidewalk. The sun scorched the skyscrapers. Sometimes, there was a breeze that chased itself through the streets but most of the time it was stagnant. The air would stand still. But today, rain cleansed the city. 

I pulled aside my living room curtain and gazed at the street below. 

Heavy grey clouds loomed over the city today, playing with the skyscrapers and letting everything that was too heavy fall upon the abandoned streets. Many people had hurried into buildings to let the rain pass, and some carried on with umbrellas to protect them. 

Nonetheless, I found calm in the way the rain fell. 

Maybe I had decided to pay attention to the smallest of details because once I hadn't. I was so focused on my career and the bigger picture that rested beyond the horizon, I had never considered the little moments that happened every day. There was emotion everywhere, even the seasons could imitate it. It was the ebb and flow of life. 

The good, the bad, and the ugly. 

Except the first wasn't part of my story.

I watched the rhythmic piddle of rain, seemingly dancing across the street below, and droplets that fell from the eves of the neighbor's apartment complex. I didn't know why but everything seemed to have a rhythm, a dance they performed in a different act. 

My skin prickled as a wave of emotion ghosted through me. I slightly shivered at the sensation and then the craving to feel the rain drew urgent. There would be no paparazzi today, their cameras were too expensive. 

I drew away from my window and went to the door. 

The rain had eased slightly as I descended the steps from my apartment complex. I didn't bother to grab a coat or an umbrella, I didn't even have shoes on. My bare feet gently splashed through the warm rainwater that collected on the sidewalk. I brushed my wet hair away from my face as rainwater danced off my eyelashes and soaked my clothes.

Only a dozen steps from my apartment, I sat down on the curb. 

I didn't know what I was feeling, and I think that was the worst part about all of this. I didn't know how to feel. I just became increasingly conscious of my chest rising and falling, the steady rhythm of my heartbeat, except I knew my body wasn't fighting for me. I knew that the presence in my bones made this body feel strange. 

For a moment, I stared down at my fingertips. 

I could feel the rain cascading over me. It fell softly against my hair and trailed down my neck. Dripping from my nose, I noticed my reflection in the hardly still puddle beneath my feet. For some reason, the girl that stared back at me seemed like she was lost. Would she know her name, if I had asked? 

"Aida!" 

My head turned towards the voice that called my name. 

River descended the same stairs I had moments before and he held a black umbrella above his head. I didn't know why but I saw it like a dark cloud. It hovered above him, following him wherever he went, and although it kept the rain off, it also kept the sunshine out. I couldn't help but think of myself. Was I always a burden to him? 

"What are you doing out here?" He came to a standstill beside me, the umbrella covering us both, and I didn't like the feeling of nothing. I wanted to feel the rain. "Aida, you'll catch a cold. Please come inside."