Accolade

chapitre douze

It was supposed to kill the bad cells in my body. 

That's what they told me before I completed my first round of chemotherapy. Cancerous cells could be targeted and killed by the injection of radiopharmaceuticals before the cells managed to divide and multiply, which was how cancer spread within the body. They outnumbered and devoured the healthy cells and the body couldn't keep up with the attack. 

I think it was ironic that one's own body could destroy itself. How did cancer even establish itself? Where did the first bad cell come from? I felt like I wanted to know everything that was happening to me, but I was only thoroughly informed about the aftercare. The side effects. 

They had warned me that I would feel different. I'd be more tired and that sleep would be a good thing. Oftentimes, the first round was the hardest until the body adjusted. It took a bit for the healthy cells to realize that the radiopharmaceuticals were there to help, and descrese their line of defense from the foreign bodies. 

I didn't understand exactly how my body worked, I just knew that it needed to decide if it was going to fight. 

I didn't remember leaving the hospital. 

I did remember my two oldest brothers being there when I was done, just as they promised, but the words we exchanged were a blur. Dr. Welch must have been there, or maybe he wasn't. Someone must have told my brothers what to do. I think it was the adrenaline wearing off, paired with the chemotherapy drugs coursing in my body now, that just left me out of it.

My brothers helped me gather my things and they led me out of the hospital. I didn't really know how I managed to walk but I knew when we were back in River's car. Thank god there were no paparazzi this time, not that I would really notice in my state.

River reached across and buckled my seat belt for me. Auden said something that I didn't catch.

My eyes closed on their own accord. 

"Aida," a voice suddenly called to me. "Aida, we're home." 

I peeled my eyes open. My eyelids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds each. I raised a hand to rub at them. "What?" 

"We're back home," River repeated, slowly, and I managed to look at him. "You're really out of it, aren't you?" 

"Yeah," I murmured and felt my eyes closing again. 

There were voices talking and then the opening of a car door. A second later, cool air swept over my face, and I realized someone had opened my door. The one I had been leaning on but steady hands held me. I could recognize a familiar scent and it only induced more drowsiness because I trusted him. I felt safe.

My seatbelt was unbuckled and then I was weightless as they lifted me from the passenger seat. 

I tried opening my eyes again. "What..."

"It's alright," River's voice was there, close and soothing, "Just relax, Aida." 

My conscience knew I was alright and my head rested against his chest, tucked beneath his chin. I thought I could focus on his breathing but I really couldn't form a single, coherent thought. Let alone keep my eyes open.

I felt like another second had passed and I was back in my apartment. River was lowering me onto the couch, and I sunk into the cushions. My head lulled back but a hand wrapped around the back of my head and gently held me up. 

Auden. 

"Here, you need to drink some water," Auden told me, he held a cool glass of water to my lips. I obliged and realized how parched I was. He replaced the first glass with a second and then I felt like my stomach would burst, so I relaxed. "Okay, good. Do you need anything else?"