Accolade

chapitre quinze

The next morning, I was at the hospital again. 

Auden and River had come with me. Warren had asked if I wanted him to come, and I decided not. Our relationship was still trying to grow. I was just getting my blood drawn for lab work, I figured it would be a quick trip. However, I definitely wanted him there for my next round of chemotherapy, and he knew that. 

I flinched when the phlebotomist pierced my skin with the needle. She had been gentle and careful but I felt it. Perhaps more than I should have. She glanced at my bruised arm in question and I explained that I might have anemia. A few minutes after my blood was drawn, an ugly bruise formed there. I could see it from beneath the small patch of gauze and tape. 

Fifteen minutes later, I was sitting in Dr. Welch's office. 

He walked in with a clipboard on his forearm and a white lab coat that trailed behind him. It was a stereotypical image of a doctor, and I hated it. As much as I trusted him with my life, I just didn't like anything related to hospitals anymore. Even the smell was imprinted in my mind.

Dr. Welch asked me questions about my symptoms, how my body was responding to the chemo, my diet, and if I was taking my painkillers. It felt monotone and meaningless. He confirmed that I did have an onset of severe anemia. My red blood cell count was depleted, and that's why I had been feeling exhausted; there wasn't enough oxygen-rich blood in my body. 

As for my late period, it was normal to experience an irregular or temporarily absent period during chemotherapy. In fact, Dr. Welch had said it was better that I wasn't having my menstrual period because it could make the anemia life-threatening. It felt weird discussing womanly things with a male doctor but I had three older brothers, so it wasn't completely new to me. 

"I will have a prescription ordered for you and you can pick it up by the end of the day. It is just additional iron that will help with the onset of anemia--"

"But will it cure it?" I cut him off. 

Dr. Welch observed me. His following words were careful. "Aida, there isn't a magic pill. I can only supplement what your body is lacking in these instances. However, there is no cure for canc--"

I abruptly rose to my feet. "I want to leave," was the only thing I could think to say. I was already heading for the door. No one stopped me. 

"Thank you, Dr. Welch," I heard River say before being out of earshot. I was aware that Auden followed me. 

No cure for cancer. 

Those words wouldn't stop haunting me. I hardly paid attention as my aching legs carried me down the winding hallways of the hospital and then I was on the front street. It wasn't my lucky day because there was a crowd. Paparazzi or news reporters, it didn't matter to me. They had to be piecing it together, my withdrawal, my hospital visits, why I wasn't dancing. 

Their shouted questions confirmed it. 

"Is it true you've been diagnosed with terminal cancer?"

"Do you still plan to dance at Broadway in six days?"

"Essence of Motion has just confirmed that you will no longer be affiliated with them? Do you have any comment about that?" 

"Aida Valiveo!" 

Yes, they had come to see her. Except, with each passing day, I felt less and less like her. I was fading with my health. 

Auden was there and he tried to shelter me from the attacks. There were so many cameras flashing, I knew my embarrassing face would be on the front page of New York Times tomorrow. Even when you didn't want people to find out about something, they would. People would do anything for five minutes of fame.