I Can't Stop Even If It's Wrong!!

Chapter 14

Harry's POV:

I don't know what was going through my mind when I so blatantly agreed to blow him. Trust me when I say it started off as a joke, as a way to rile Louis up, to annoy him, to not bow down to his sexual suggestions...but when I heard the rasp in his voice when he tried to deny it, I couldn't help thinking about how my acceptance affected him. When my fingers traced his sides, I was equally worked up and when I begged him to let me blow him, I was definitely running on desperation. I couldn't wait for his answer, so, I just turned him around and kissed him. I kissed him deeply and passionately.

I held him tight against the kitchen counter, not wanting him to leave. I was unsure if it was my desperation or something else that made me act like it. Soon enough, I was kissing and sucking on the pulse points on his neck and he was writhing against me. His fingers were digging in my chest. And I know he wasn't trying to push me away, 'cause if he was, he would have tried to push harder than that. I continued covering his neck and his collarbones, in kisses and licks. 

"Harry..." he moaned when I opened the button on his jeans while kissing his jawline.

And then, I slowly started ripping off the jeans from his legs, gradually bringing it down to his knees, while my mouth worked on his torso.

"Harry...." He gasped, when I moved his shirt up and bunched it up in my fist upto his stomach as I licked and kissed around his belly button, his ribs, his hipbones, slowly inching towards his clothed crotch.

But I avoided it at first, because tbh I wanted to work him up, so much that he will beg me to please him. So, I just started kissing the insides of his thigh, feeling it out, rubbing the flesh, biting it lightly. I smirk on the inside when I feel him trying to grip the counter tightly. I decided to stop the teasing and just go for it, but before I could, he stopped me with a firm hand on my shoulder. I looked at him unsure of what he was doing.

"Harry- I- I can't..." He said looking straight at me, in a soft voice.

I got up and stood infront of him, not saying anything. Sure I was all worked up, but I wasn't gonna do it if he didn't want me to. We looked at each other for a while, his eyes were apologetic, it seemed. So, without further ado, I give him a nod of 'okay' and started pulling his jeans back up. He still wasn't saying anything. I thought about apologising for my impulsive act, but he beat me to it.

"I am sorry...it's just.... awkward u know-" he said with a polite voice.

I guess it was awkward to suggest me giving you a blowjob just for the fun of it Louis, but okay...

"It's okay. I am glad you told me you didn't want to" i told him, trying to comfort him.

I was curious, and maybe it was an inappropriate timing, but I asked him anyway, "Have u ever had a- a blowjob before? From, anyone?"

And he just nodded his head in disagreement. And I didn't comment anything on that. Surprisingly, my head was empty and no useless thoughts were running around with a fajita serving in my mind.

After standing there awkwardly, making seconds of eye-contact, for another two minutes or so, we shuffled back to our rooms. And as soon as I lay down on the bed, I couldn't stop thinking about him. This might actually be the first time, I wasn't thinking about his body, his hotness, his sexy curves, his dazzling eyes or those sinful moments.

No, because this time I was thinking purely about how this was going to be his first experience ever in a blowjob. He must have gotten cold feet just by thinking about it! It would have been too much pressure and excitement for him to handle! And I was being relentless from the start... God, I hope he wasn't scared! First experiences should be relaxing and fun, and here I was, lusting for him like a vampire lusts for blood.

Well, technically, it would have been my first time too giving a blowjob. I was not sure how it would have turned out, but I like to think, i would have absolutely smashed it! But is that really why he stopped me? Was it just because it was a first? Or could it have been that he isn't into guys? Or maybe he is just trying to figure it out himself!? Maybe he's got a girlfriend with whom he wanted to have his first! Maybe I should stop wanting to blow him even more now! Yes. I should stop. What the hell am I doing anyways? I had swore I would not get on my knees for him...this is wrong! I have needs, but it's not like I can't find someone else to help me with them. Yeah, from now on, no more getting close to Louis Tomlinson! And slowly, I sleep away thinking like this.

Louis's POV:

What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened!? I remember discussing with Harry about the joke and the next thing I can remember was his lips on my neck, his hands on my waist. I was lying on my bed in my room thinking about his tongue, his touch, his heavy breathing, his eyes, his grunts, on my body. It made my stomach churn in different ways. My head was spinning with thoughts like Harry was actually gonna blow me! He really was on his knees! He begged to please me! Was it just a joke from his side too? He wouldn't do it because he wanted to, would he? Did he really mean it when he said he wasn't joking? No! Definitely not! He was obviously joking.

I turn to my side in an anticipation to calm my heartbeat that was literally going over the towers. Why would he do this? Was it a prank? Hell, the topic was started by u Tommo!! But why would he....play along? Who would put him up to this? Liam? Zayn? That blonde fella? The blonde fella doesn't even know we live in the same house! And Liam and Zayn were literally with me the whole day. When could they have planned it? And besides, if they would have planned it, why would they choose Harry? They know I hate this lad! I again change my side.

This time, I was lying on my back, facing the roof, with one arm tucked behind my head. Do you Louis? Do you hate Harry? My eyes widen at that question that my conscience kept asking me.

"Ofcourse I do! He. Is. Ruining. My. Life! I mean....look at me right now. I can't sleep or think about anything else because that curly idiot has occupied my mind like a curse" I tried reasoning with myself, my inner self. But the question was still not drifting away. I mentally scolded myself to shut up and forcefully closed my eyes, thinking that would help me sleep, but how could it, when your body cannot flush that arousal, caused by his touch, out of your system. I lifted the duvet off of me to see...and yup, I was getting hard! Why? Just why? Nothing is even happening right now! Why are you getting hard? I irritatedly asked myself, as I got up to get the tissue box and lube.

I didn't want to think about it, i shouldn't have thought about it, but I did. I jerked off to the images of Harry blowing me. A minute ago I was hating myself for even suggesting the idea to Harry, and now here I was, panting heavily after having the most relaxing but dirty orgasm, to that exact idea.

I hate myself for this! And i hate even more that it's Harry related! This is getting out of hand now. This is the third time I have jerked off thinking about Harry. Yes, three times! I had jerked off to the thoughts of Harry in that outfit and glasses, after he had left for the party. And u know what's the worst part about it? A few moments ago I had snogged a girl but I still got worked up seeing him in an outfit! That stupid Styles should not have this much effect on me! No, he cannot have this much effect on me! I have to do something about it. He needs to get out of my system. I need to flush his touch out of my memory. Yes! That's what I will do! That's the only way to stop.

What do you think is gonna happen now!? ;) Tell me in the comments...