Wanderer of Time: Silence Begins (doctor who)

Chapter 27: The Stolen Face

Ten dusted off his moped in a back room of the TARDIS. It had been ages since he used this last. He could not even remember when. He planned on giving a tour New York for Rose, going to see an Ed Sullivan show performance for the main event. The girl needed a nice break after going through the other universe and losing Mickey. She really had been torn up about everything that had occurred. The Doctor wished Wanda had been there with them, or was even here now. She would know how to cheer Rose up better than he could.

He paused in grabbing a white helmet off a counter, staring distantly at it. He had been thinking sometime now about the Time Lady. Ever since that kiss they shared in the medical bay. It had been . . . the most wonderful and blissful sensation. His hearts would not stop their joyful beating and his mind screaming 'yes!' when he finally gave into his desires. But then . . . she had rejected him. She had looked so horrified by him kissing her. She had called it 'wrong.' But how could it have been so wrong when it felt so right?

And he wanted to kiss her again, so badly. But he knew he could not. Wanda might not ever want to be with him that way. She might forever see him only as a friend. Never wishing to be anything more like the way he wanted them to be. She might even despise him now for being so forceful with the kiss. It had gotten a little more vigorous than he originally intended. It was as though his body had taken control. It craved Wanda even more so than he ever thought he could. Or maybe, that was all his own craving for her, and he just never realized it until kissing her.

Could he cope in merely being friends when he wanted so much more? Could he tell her the full extent of his true desires and emotions for her? Could he tell her that he . . . that he . . . . No, he could not say it. He could hardly even think it in his own mind. It had been centuries since he last told someone those three simple words. Words that had never held such deep meaning to him before. But now, they felt like weights on his hearts. Could he . . . should he dare even say them again? Give his hearts out to another? Every time he had in the past, it only ended up breaking his hearts. Why would now be any different? Would Wanda be any different than all the others he had let himself fall for?

The Time Lady might even be right in calling their desires for each other 'wrong.' Maybe they should not delve into anything more than friendship between them. It might possibly hurt them both in the end if things were to become more complicated between them. Now that he thought about it, he was being foolish and foolhardy in letting his emotions get the better of him. He needed to gain self-control and keep their companionship as professional. Not personal. They were friends, nothing more and nothing less.

He blinked when a flash of white light hit the corner of his eye. He glanced over to see Second Wanda standing and staring around curiously next to him. She had changed her outfit from the last time he had seen her. She wore a longer, sage, military jacket now that actually had longer sleeves and pockets in the front. He could see a white shirt underneath the jacket with its buttons only halfway done. Tan cargo pants this time; still with as many pockets as before and the same black combat boots as always. He recognized the new outfit. It was the same one she changed into after the run-in with the Slitheen and her getting poisoned. To which he had still not figured out why she survived the encounter.

Then again, when thinking of that day, he winced internally. That was one of many days he regretted in his actions and words against her during his Ninth self. He had a hard time forgiving himself for being such an arse to Wanda. It was one of the reasons why he made sure to try so hard in making certain that First Wanda's stay with him was perfect. He wanted to make it up to her and her future selves. Show the Young Wanda that not all the times between them were all that bad. There was just as much good, too.

"Oh, hey, Doctor," Wanda said, smiling when she saw him there. "What room of the TARDIS are we in? I don't think I've ever seen this one before."

"It's where I keep the scooters," he told her, looking back to the helmet. Now that she was here again, he felt somewhat anxious. They had left off in a very awkward time. Though, she acted as though she were fine being around him. Did she forget about the kiss? What would she say if he brought up the subject matter?