Wanderer of Time: Silence Begins (doctor who)

Chapter 42: Midnight Tolls

The stars twinkled above on the ceiling. Some of their lights reflected on Wanda's eyes as she lay on the bed gazing to them. She had the covers pulled right up to her chin, cuddling up deeply into the bed. She had cried some more the moment she laid down in her room, sobbing so broken heartedly with the TARDIS making sad hums with her sobs. But . . . in knowing that River was safe and sound within Charlotte's dream world, it gave Wanda some peace of mind. As well as in knowing that she would indeed see River again throughout her life. And Wanda knew she would make certain that every single second they spent together would be magnificent. Never would there be a dull moment. She would forever make certain River had the most fantastic life. That was a promise.

Wanda heard footsteps coming towards her room, familiar footfalls to which she had grown so used to. Shuffling down into the covers, she pulled them over her head and curled up underneath. The door of the room opened and closed softly. Someone quietly stepped around the room with chairs shifting and things being moved around. Wanda shifted to her side and scooted over, making room for them as she heard them come over to the bed. The bed sunk in and the covers lifted briefly before falling back over both her and the Doctor as he lay next to her underneath the blankets.

"How's Donna?" Wanda asked quietly.

"Good," the Doctor murmured softly. "Well, I think she felt better after chewing my ears off from her scolding on proper ways to handle relationships. And now, I can't seem to get my ears to stop ringing." They both chuckled quietly at that. He lay on his side, facing Wanda who lay facing him. "How are you feeling?"

"Heh, I was about to ask you that," Wanda whispered. A small smile was given to her. His fingers gently came up to her face, brushing away stray strands of raven hair. Wanda eyes wandered over to his wrist, seeing an angry red mark upon it. "What happened to your wrist?"

"Oh. The cuffs sort of cut into it," he commented lightly, shrugging as though it were no big issue. Of course, with his healing abilities, injuries such as these were never a bother for him. Still . . .

Wanda gazed at the red mark, feeling the same welling of guilt from River's death within her hearts. Ever so gently, she took his hand and pulled his wrist towards her. Leaning to it, she softly placed her lips upon the injury in an almost caressing way. The Doctor blinked, feeling his hearts beat rapidly and his breath catch within his throat. The same reaction he always received when being around her, especially whenever she did that. Her lips moved away and she gazed into his eyes sadly.

"I'm sorry," she breathed. She let go of his hand, turning over to face away.

It hurt too much staring up into his brown eyes, to be able to hold his hand or kiss him. She felt as torn in half as she had when being Alice. Two halves of her fighting to be whole. A part of her, wanting nothing more than to comfort him, to kiss him and hold him close so that their mourning hearts may beat as one within their four beats. But the other half felt it to be wrong, knowing that it should be River to comfort him, to kiss and hold the Doctor. Not her. Wanda should not want to kiss him when she had let his wife die.

"Wanderer," he sighed, as if knowing what she was feeling and contemplating. "Please, don't tear yourself up over this." He turned her back over, stroking her cheek while she only gazed at his chest. "You always let yourself feel guilty over these things."

"But I—," she tried to say.

"No, you did nothing wrong and no one hates you," he said firmly. "You cannot change what has happened. You did all you could, and what's happened, happened. Don't worry about what might happen later on, too. You need to stop living in the past and the future. Live for the present." Wanda chuckled lightly.