We Broke-Up

Chapter 25

As lisa drove, she could only think.

What happened to his manager? Did he know about this? What did jungkook tell him? Did anyone else see him? Only worries about jungkook filled her head. But she couldn't say a single word. jungkook was staring at the side of her face. As if he were waiting for her to say something.

She parked her car on a secluded shoulder of the road. Tap, tap. The dried leaves of the shrubs next to the road rustled as they fell to the ground. The leaves made a pattern on the ground as they hit the car. They were hidden from prying eyes. It was a lonely but beautiful place.

"Why are you acting like this? It's not like you." lisa spoke in a dry voice as she looked forward.

"This was the only way I could see you."

"......"

"You moved away and changed your cell phone number." lisa kept her mouth shut. In order to brush off the remnants of jungkook, she moved out of the apartment as if she were running away. She even changed her phone number. She hated catching herself waiting for jungkook's call.

But if he knew this, that meant he had tried to come by her apartment and call her. For some reason, she felt relieved. As if it were proof that she wasn't the only one who had been in love.

"So what?" However, lisa spoke coldly. As if her moving away and changing her number had nothing to do with him.

"For the month we were apart, I thought about it a lot. But no matter how much I try, I can't figure it out."

"......"

"The reason we broke up." His voice was low. He was planning on meeting lisa when he found the reason. However, a long time had passed, and he still hadn't found it. Did he drop lisa somewhere as Jaewon had said? He wondered. No, he tightly held onto lisa as he ran. No, he lived for lisa. So that she wouldn't have to lower her head because of him.

So he couldn't figure out why they had to break up. He couldn't find it at all.

"If you tell me what it is, I'll fix it. I don't know what it is, but I'll fix it, so... Please reconsider this." jungkook's voice was gruff with emotion. lisa slowly turned her head.

"If you can't figure it out after a month, then you won't know it even if I tell you."

"You don't know that. I might understand." jungkook turned his head and looked at her.

"I told you. I don't have the confidence to keep loving you." Even if she could get through today, she didn't have the confidence to endure it tomorrow. And she didn't want to watch the love fade away.

"So why?" His voice was sharp. He continued in an angry tone.

"We met when we had time. I got you a place where you could live comfortably. I never took an interest in another woman, and I only looked at you. I'm finally able to let you do whatever you want, so why are you breaking up with me? What more do you need? I told you I'd do anything you say! I can give you everything I have, so why...?! Why are we breaking up?!" He spoke in a hoarse voice as the emotion burst through his lips.

"kook."

"Don't call my name like that." She spoke as if she were trying to console him. lisa sighed. A desolate silence settled inside the car.

We're in the same space and breathing the same air, but why does it feel like we're in different worlds? lisa clenched her lonely heart and opened her mouth.

"You feel responsible for me."

"What about it?" jungkook asked back coldly. He didn't see what the problem was.

"That's all you have left. Duty. You weren't able to let me go because I was someone who was with you when you went through your most difficult times."

"That's not true." lisa's expression turned sorrowful as she heard jungkook's denial. Even if he didn't say it, she could hear it. She could see it. When he told her it wasn't true, one of his brows twitched. She hated seeing the tic that only came out when he was lying.

She knew that jungkook had a strong sense of duty. Just as much as he hated his parents who had abandoned him, only leaving behind a large debt. Even if that duty led him down a path he didn't want to take.

And now, lisa was one of many things he felt responsible for. It wasn't love. It was duty. He wanted to repay her for all the things she went through when he was struggling. Why else would he say 'I'm finally able to let you do whatever you want'?

'I miss you so much that I can't take it. Let's just forget this happened and start seeing each other again.' If he had said these words instead. If he had said, 'I still like you', she might have wavered.

So that's what I became to you.

lisa felt her eyes fill with tears and clenched her hands on the steering wheel. The final strand of her heart finally snapped.

lisa glanced at jungkook.

"Shall I be honest?"

"......"

"Jungkook, I... I'm tired." lisa's voice dropped in the silent car.

"If I were to be even more honest... I'm lonely. Even more than I would be if I were alone." As if he hadn't expected her to say this, Jungkook's frowning face suddenly went blank. He forgot what he wanted to say. She was even more lonely than if she were alone? He hadn't thought she'd say something like this.

"Being by your side makes me unhappy." After saying these words, lisa turned her head and looked at him directly. Her still eyes began to well up with tears.

After they broke up, she hadn't shed a single tear. Whenever she felt the tears well up, she'd close her eyes until the feeling went away. But right now, in a moment when she desperately wanted to hold them back, they dripped out. Only after she said these words did she realize. That this love was tiring.

This cooling love, this relationship that she had to endure, seeing herself become a burden to jungkook.

"That's the reason."

"...lisa." jungkook had finally recovered and was about to tell her something.

"Let me go, jungkook." She quickly cut him off.

"It's not because of something you did or something I did. We both did our best. It's just... our love is coming to an end."

"......"

"So let's end it here. Please." So that we're only left with the pretty memories. She didn't want to see them foolishly cling onto each other any longer.

After she finished saying what she wanted to say, lisa looked down. jungkook closed his parted lips. Nothing came out. He suddenly felt as if everything had stopped. Time. The wind. Their breaths.

Tap.

In the silence, lisa's tears dripped onto the seat. jungkook clenched his fist. In the past, if something happened to cause lisa to cry, she'd always do it in front of him. Then it was his job to pull her into his arms and console her. And tell her everything was okay. That if she were ever having a difficult time, he'd always be there to protect her.

But right now, he didn't know what to do. lisa was crying because of him. Because this is the first time this has happened. The fact that we've become like this feels so unnatural to me...

Jungkook looked away. He couldn't stand to see her cry any longer and covered his eyes with his hand.