R.J Forever?

Chapter 28: A Billion and One Sorrys

A/N: this is that same day that Ricky is in the LGBTQ+ club after school except it's E.J's POV. It's still early to almost mid March. Sorry for the confusion of time skips. ;)

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E.J's POV:

It's been 15 days, 12 hours, and 58 minutes since I last talked or texted Ricky. And today I  decided that I am going to his house after lacrosse practice to explain why I haven't been talking to him for the last two weeks.

This may sound a bit crazy and unreasonable but I have been ignoring him because I've been busy working on a project for him. It's called 'The You Matter Project,' well it was originally called the 'Ricky Project' but when I told Ashlyn about it she said that the name was a stupid and too embarrassing.

I know it sounds weird but I really like him and I was thinking that I could help him and other  students at East High who feel excluded and are getting  bullied like Jackson and Gina. So that's what inspired the 'You Matter Project'.

I really wanted to tell him about the project as soon as I came up with the idea but it's a secret project for now so that means that I can't tell him yet.

In the last two weeks, I talked to Jackson about what it means to be bisexual, I had multiple fights with my dad about talking to lacrosse school scouts, I got my Letterman jacket from Coach L, I went to 4 upperclassmen parties but didn't drink, and I started to feel less like a popular student because I lost a few friends because they said some homophobic stuff in the locker room.

I needed those two weeks to myself and to have time to create the 'You Matter Project' but now I think I'm ready to tell Ricky how I've been and about my sexuality crisis.

I just hope that he isn't too mad at me for ghosting him and ditching him after he invited me to eat lunch with him under the bleachers.

I should've apologized to him after I ditched him but I felt angry and sad after Chris and I's second fight so I just decided to get my aggression out by running on the lacrosse field while playing loud music through my airpods that day.

But right now, I have to deal with lacrosse practice and Chris.

I honestly haven't been myself on the field lately but I am hoping that we can win the game that is this Friday because we haven't won a game since I made that winning pass that Ricky talked about over our dinner.

"Hey there you are, I was looking for you. Do you want to stretch together?," I see Jackson come into the locker room as I snap out of my daydream.

"Yeah sure. Sorry about that. I just haven't felt like myself lately. Hey can I ask you a question first?," I put my hand on Jackson's shoulder gently before he can open the door that leads us to the field.

"Yeah sure. You can ask me anything," I see Jackson close the door lightly so that we can have privacy.

"What is it like to kiss a boy?" I whisper to him and bite my lip since I am not comfortable talking about this in public.

"Oh. That's what you wanted to ask. Well, it's the most magical and wonderful thing I've ever experienced. Marcus gets nervous when we kiss but I reassure him that I love him before we kiss and I stroke his hair sometimes but to be honest, it doesn't need to be that big of a deal. It's just a kiss so don't overthink it if you want to kiss you know who," I see Jackson wink at me since he knows about my crush on Ricky.

We talked about Ricky before when I started asking him questions about bisexuality.

"Now come on, let's go stretch before Chris starts searching for us," I watch Jackson open the door that leads to the field and walk out before me.