i stood at the gates
drenched in rain and salty tears
god looked down at me
was there pity in his eyes?
i tremble with the fear
i will not make it past these pearls
would he give me the consolation prize?
a firm shake of the hand?
you did your best
though your best was little to nothing
you wallowed in your pain
a pathetic girl coated in crimson
a failure trophy daughter
the sigh that left his lips
deafening
...
like a sorrowful psalm
i cast my cry out like david
but unlike him
i contain no trust
no faith that i will be lifted from this pit
my heart is blackened with dust
i gave up
on being good
long
long
ago
