Chapter 15

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Olivia and Rafael stepped into Olivia's apartment. It was midnight on Saturday. Olivia smiled as she watched Rafael close and lock the door behind him. "What?" Rafael asked, laughter in his voice. Olivia was staring at him, and he loved it."I just love you." She replied, in awe. "You're such a good man. You're brilliant." Rafael stepped closer to her, he wanted to kiss her so badly."I'm brilliant, because I locked the door?" He questioned, lifting an eyebrow. He noticed the look of desire in her eyes."Yes", She replied. Rafael opened his mouth to flirt."Hold that thought." She said, in mommy mode. She turned away from him, her eyes sweeping the living area. Lucy wasn't there. "Lucy!" Olivia called, there was no answer. Rafael made himself useful by going to the kitchen, Lucy wasn't there. He watched as Olivia moved to the hall, headed to Noah's room.
A few moments later, Rafael moved to the hall. "Liv He called, softly, concern in his voice. "Liv."
Suddenly, he saw Olivia, coming out of Noah's room, tears in her eyes. "He's gone, Rafa, Noah is gone." She said running to Rafael. He took her hand, and squeezed it. "He's gone! Lucy's gone!" It's too late for them to be out!" Where are they?""Liv, let's start making some calls",Rafael said, he was suddenly terrified, but his voice was calm. Olivia began to fumble with her phone, he took it from her shaking hand. His intention was to make calls for her, the first person he wanted to call was Fin. Rafael looked at the phone, and saw the words Missed calls,. He checked if she had voicemail. A moment later, he spoke. "Liv you have messages..At his words, Olivia calmed down, the shaking of her hand lessened. She took the phone from him, she put the phone on speaker. and listened.
"Hi Liv, It's Lucy, it's 3 O'clock. I just dropped Noah off for his sleepover at Mark's. I'm going home.If you get home early enough, maybe you can take a nap. I noticed you haven't been sleeping well. Have a great weekend!"The second message played. "Hi Olivia! It's Rose Tenney.I just wanted you to know Noah is having fun. Pick him up at 3 tomorrow, unless he wants to stay till Sunday afternoon. He's welcome to. Enjoy the time off. Talk soon!""Hi mommy!" Noah said on the voicemail. Olivia breathed an audible sigh of relief the instant she heard her sweet boy's voice. "I'm going to bed now. I got another A on my spelling test, tell Uncle Rafa. I want him to be proud of me. I hope you're locking up a lot of bad guys. I love you, and Uncle Rafa. Good night." That was the last message in Olivia's voicemail. Olivia took her phone off speaker, and ran to the kitchen. She placed her phone on the charger. When she turned away from the charger, she saw Rafael standing inches from her. He was relieved that Noah was safe, he was worried about Olivia."I'm a horrible mother." Olivia whispered, feeling ashamed. She looked away from Rafael, there were tears in her eyes."Hey don't do that, don't say that. I never want to hear that from you. You are an amazing, phenomenal mother. Stop attacking the woman I love.""Noah has a sleepover, it was planned at least a week ago! How could I forget that!" Rafael stepped even closer to her, his hand reached out, and lifted her chinHer brown tear filled eyes were now locked on his calming green ones."When do you think you forgot about it?" Rafael asked, gently."I remember packing his overnight bag on Thursday night . I didn't want Lucy to have to do it. I thought about it before work. I told Noah to have fun there. It slipped my mind this afternoon.""How many discloses did you take this afternoon?" He said in court room mode."Rafa, this has nothing to do with it.""How many?"
"3." She answered."When was the last time you ate?" Rafael continued."I don't remember." She answered, Rafael let out a frustrated sigh."When was the last time you slept well?""You're asking this, because of what Lucy said on my voicemail?""When was the last good night's sleep you had, Olivia?"
"I don't remember." She admitted, softly. Rafael took his finger off of her chin. She was suddenly afraid he was mad at her. He reached for her hand, squeezed it, and led her to the bathroom. "Rafa?" She said, confused."I'm drawing you a bath.""It's after 1 in the morning.""If you don't feel like you have time for a bath, I will draw you a bath tomorrow. Now, you need a warm shower. When you get out of the shower, I will have something for you to eat."
Rafael turned on the faucet, and adjusted the temperature. Olivia was too tired to argue, and he had a good idea. He left the room minutes later, she undressed, and stepped into the warm water, which felt heavenly on her tired body. She washed until she was clean, and her muscles were relaxed, She stepped out, wrapping a towel around herself. She was about to worry about what to wear, but she didn't have to. As she was bathing, Rafael had quickly and very quietly placed clothes on her vanity. Olivia unfolded the comfortable clothing, and put it on. She exited the bathroom, and walked to the kitchen where she found Rafael. "I made you some pasta, and vegetables." He said, when he saw her. She was wearing the deep purple yoga pants, and white t-shirt he had chosen for her."Thank-you." She said, softly, sitting down at the counter. She looked down at the plate in front of her, there was an assortment of colorful vegetables, and pasta with sauce on the side. "I don't deserve this. I always thought I would be a better mother than my mother was."

"Stop." Rafael demanded. "Look at me." Olivia forced her eyes to meet his. "Olivia you are a wonderful mother, Noah adores you. Tell me how many ways I have to say it and I will. You're human. You forgot for a little while that Noah wouldn't be here when you got home. You remembered to pack his bag, you told him to have fun. You didn't leave him somewhere. You're a wonderful mother, and Noah is safe. He loves you.""He loves you." Olivia said, flashing him a half smile."Yeah, he does." Rafael said, giving her a full smile. "Can you keep that voicemail for me?""Of course.""Olivia, you're human, you deal with people in crisis everyday, you haven't eaten, you haven't slept, you're under a lot of stress. That's why Noah's sleepover slipped your mind, You need to relax. Eat your food." He said, after a short pause. He moved to prepare his own plate. He ate with her in the kitchen. When they were done with the meal, Rafael washed the dishes. Then he led her to the couch. They sat down.
"Do you think you can trust Carmen not to talk about us?" Olivia said after a few moments of comfortable silence."Liv, Carmen is not going to say anything to anyone. She's wanted us together for years, she loves you, and her pregnancy has made her blissfully happy. She wants that happiness for everyone around her." Rafael said. "I do want to disclose.""I don't want you going to Brooklyn." She whined. Rafael sighed, and rolled his eyes. He pulled her to him, and she rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere, Olivia. Even if I have to go back to Brooklyn to keep a job, again, it doesn't mean I'm leaving you. I'm not leaving you. I'm right here, I'm staying right here. Do you hear me?" He felt Olivia's head move in a silent yes motion, and he kissed her hair as she fell asleep.No, get off me!" No!" Olivia cried 4 hours later, immediately waking Rafael up. Her head was no longer on his shoulder. He sat up straighter.
"Olivia, wake up, wake up, wake up. You're with me. You're with Rafael. You're safe with me." He said soothingly. Her brown eyes snapped open.
"Rafa?""Yes, it's Rafa, I'm here." He reassured her softly. Olivia's head found its way back to his shoulder, and closed her eyes. He was her home. He listened intently to her breathing. He knew when she was calm enough to listen to his words. "You want to talk about it?" Her nightmares were more frequent since her communication with Katelyn Quinn."Sometimes I see Katelyn's husband dragging me. Sometimes, I see Lewis, sometimes I see Captain Lewell Harris." She said, Rafael raised an eyebrow. "Sometimes, I see Larry Holland. Sometimes they are all together raping me, hurting me. Tonight, they were all there.""I'm here, Olivia, do you feel me here with you."
"Yes." Olivia whispered."What do you need me to do?""Hold me." She said. "Let me talk about anything."Rafael wrapped his arm protectively around her. "OK." He said. "What do you want to talk about, Mi Vida.""I think we should have your mother over for dinner." She said, her voice now content. Rafael smiled, the thought of that, making him instantly happy. He held her a little tighter.


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