𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎𝐗𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 || 18+

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐲-𝐨𝐧𝐞

Today is the day that I dread the most out of the whole year.

The day it all went wrong. The day that began the suffering of my life which seems to never end.

The day when my mother turned into a monster who had no heart except for the man she loved endlessly.

The reason as to why it still affects me to this very day.

The reason why I hate her for everything she did to me.

The reason why when I look in the mirror I see a women who never got a chance to be a girl, who was forced to grow up before she had a chance to live.

And I hate her even more for that.

. . .

Every year this day takes a toll on me. It gets me in this depressive mood, it's like I shut down from the world for a few days as if I'm moarning my younger self who died a long time ago.

It's as if the world knows I'm moarning because no one has contacted me, it's raining heavily, it's cold and gloomy.

Sighing, I decide to finally get up and do my morning routine as it's already twelve in the afternoon and I'm still lying in bed, crying.

I always cry on this day because it's the day when the memories roam free in my head until I feel like I'm being suffocated by the traumatizing memories.

Another heavy sigh falls from my lips as I take a look in the mirror seeing that girl once again.

I look like shit, I have dark eyebags, my eyes are red from crying so much, my cheeks are swollen and flustered.

I bend over and start spreading face wash over my face before washing it off after a few minutes and then start brushing my teeth and then moisturizing my face with lotion.

Deciding to take a shower, I strip naked and walk into the shower as I stand emotionless under the water, just staring blankly at the wall.

When I hear a door open and then shut, it's probably Rowan.

I quickly finish washing my body off and then wipe myself down with a towel before I get dressed in some lounge shorts and a black hoodie.

I put on spray and then walk out my room to see all four of them.

Just fucking great, now they're are going to question me for my silence and why I look like shit.

Rowan is the first to notice me and a frown settles on his face when he takes me in.

Getting up he walks over to me and cups my face gently and a worried look covers his face. "What's wrong baby?"

A shaky sigh escapes me and I lean into his hold as I rest my head on his chest which makes me wrap my arms around him.

"Just having a rough day today." I say.

"Well when wanted to take you out today but if your not up for it we don't have too." Nathaniel says and I look over to them andbsee the other two with their jaws clenches in jealousy.

"Can we just chill for today?" I ask and they nod their heads.

"Of course. What would you like to do?" Ronan smiles softly at me.

"Watch a movie."

We all settle on the large couch and I sit on the floor between Nathaniel's legs while Christian sits next to him and Rowan and Ronan next to each other.

They make me choose and we end up watching '10 things I hate about you'.

Oh how I love this move. Heath Ledger can fuck me anyday.

It's sad to think how he killed himself before he got to see his own movie. It's just heartbreaking in general when it comes to him. But I believe that his legacy will live on forever.

Halfway through the movie she ended up falling asleep but I think I was the only one to notice as the others were too invested in the movie.

Sometimes it makes me realise how toxic they can be, how ignorant and oblivious they are when it comes to her actual feelings but I don't know what she sees in them that makes her stay anyway.

Hopefully at the end of the day they bring her more joy than pain because I'm willingly to run away with her and my children if it means that it will guarantee her happiness.

Standing up, I gently lift her into my hold and carry her to her room. Placing her on her bed before tucking her under the covers.

I press a kiss to her forehead and then cheek before going back to the living room.

Noticing that they turned the movie off and are busy talking to each other.

I sit down on the couch across from them to put distance between us.

"What's wrong with her?" I ask because they seem to know why because that was actually the sole reason as to why we came over.

"We would tell you but last time we told someone else this she found out and got really angry at us so she'll tell you when she's ready, just be patient." Ronan says and Christian and Nathaniel nod their heads in agreement.

"Okay but can you tell me how you plan how getting her trust back especiallyafter that stunt you pulled by being half naked infront of a women when you won't even be like that in front of her." I say raising my eyebrow as I sit back.

"By not lying to her anymore, by being respectfulof her boundaries and listening to everything she says." Christian says confidently.

And I don't think that's going to fully get her trust back, they also need to give her space and the freedom of a normal person.

And they don't realise that yet or maybe they do but they don't want to admit that they aren't willing to do that.

I just can't wait to see how this plays out at the end of everything.

Will she end up choosing all of us or just me?