THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS

[44]

[44]

- EDEN -

-

THERE WAS SOMETHING so inherently peaceful about watching him breathe.

He was curled on his side, his body facing mine in the bed. His left arm was draped over the curve of my waist and his other hand was tucked under his head. He breathed in through his nose and small puffs of air left his lips as he breathed in and then out.

The skin of his shoulder, his neck, and torso glinted with the dewy light of the moon shining in through the window. And with each rise and fall of his chest, this feeling seemed to burst in my chest:

Watching him sleep, I felt myself completely overwhelmed with his existence. Never have I ever found myself soaking up a person's every mannerism and physique so thoroughly. I saw it in the way his lashes fluttered as he stirred from his sleep for a moment before being pulled back in. I saw it in the way his face's hard edges and weariness faded away to something soft and glistening as he slept. I even saw it in the way his hands tightened over my body, pulling me to him like he was afraid of losing me, even in his sleep.

He was beautiful in even the most minute ways.

And as he laid here, breathing in my arms, holding me as if I were his last breath, I knew it as well as I knew my own name. I loved him.

I lifted my fingers to his face, tracing the outline of his jaw and his bottom lip. Weariness washed over me and I wiped away the tears of exhaustion that escaped the corners of my eyes. I couldn't sleep and that's how it always was when I slept next to Atlas. With his body next to mine, like this, my nerves were buzzing and my thoughts seemed like they'd never slow.

But to me, the lack of sleep was worth it. All his life, he struggled with his insomnia and the little sleep he got when he slept with me was worth it. He deserved a break. He deserved the peaceful smile that graced his lips when he was asleep.

Someone deserved to see it at least once in his lifetime.

Atlas shifted in his sleep, his arm that was draped over my waist, falling slightly and over the plane of my stomach. I sucked in a breath as his hand brushed over the exposed skin of my thin shirt. I tilted my head up and watched his eyebrows furrow as he sucked in a breath. As his face softened as he drifted back to sleep, my body seemed to flare under his touch.

This touch, much different than the others, felt like the magnitude of all his heated kisses; the kisses that are fervent and burning and everywhere all at once. My brain wandered and in that moment, I wondered what it would be like to be with him. What would it be like for his eyes to soak me in and for his fingers to memorize every inch of my body?

I had promised myself ages ago that connecting with someone so intimately wasn't for me. Sure, in the moment it felt good, but what was so euphoric about it if the trust built together was broken? I pushed myself far away from it because I couldn't open myself up enough to trust someone again. Staring up at Atlas and the rush of security that I felt with his arm around me, I didn't know if that was true anymore.

I trusted him. Him more than anyone in the world right now.

Atlas shifted once more, burying his face into the crook of my neck and pulling me closer. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth as he planted a kiss on my skin. "You didn't sleep," he murmured, his voice, a soft whisper and thick with sleep.

I winced, hoping that I wasn't the reason he woke up.

I trailed my fingers up the side of his face and tangled them in his hair, "I was about to." He hummed softly in response, the vibrations from his voice traveling through every inch of my body.