𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐬; 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨 𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐟𝐨𝐲 𝟑

Believe Me

AnnaLeigh Malfoy

"But what happened?" Draco said as he talked to Kehlani without me. She'd apparated me straight home and lucky enough, Draco had just gotten to the manor as we did. I currently sat on the lounge looking into the fire while Kehlani and Draco spoke in the kitchen.

I was only able to vaguely hear their conversation, but not enough to listen in on what they're talking about but I didn't need too because I already knew it was about me.

They both think I'm fucking crazy and I couldn't blame them.

The first time this happened Draco had managed to talk me down, tell me it was all in my head and it hadn't happened since. I'd completely forgotten about it.

And then it happened again.

I was confused. I didn't know why this was happening and what it meant but it was absolute horror. The voices, the imagines, the complete state of cluelessness and fear I felt in the moments when it happened.

What did this mean?

When was the torture to end?

It was eating me from the inside out that I couldn't figure what it was. I felt alone because no one knew what it was like to be so trapped, to run in circles and just encounter a dead end.

And all they did was call me insane.

"Anna" I looked up from the fire and ti my left where just Draco stood with his hands in his pockets.

"Draco" I sighed and looked back to the fire.

"Kehlani went home" he said calmly "it's been a long day and Albus was wondering where she was"

I just hummed and watched the flames dance in different directions. I found it funny how fire wood can stand alight for hours at a time, sometimes they don't even burn entirely, yet, a house crashes 10x quicker and is twice the size when on fire.

"Anna" Draco said my name again but this time, the tone of distress was so evident, I could almost smell it. He was worried and not by the fact that I blacked out but by the possibility that all this, all that had happened to me.

Finally drove me off the edge.

He sat down next to me on the couch but I continued to stare ahead. I didn't want his concern, I didn't want his sympathy—I just wanted him to believe me and help me.

"Darling, I—"

"I don't need this, Draco" I shook my head and tucked my hands between my legs to keep them warm "I don't need you telling me that this is all in my head and certainly don't need you telling me to get a fucking therapist"

"Look, I know that this is hard for you and that it's scary but you need to consider the possibility that it's all finally taken it's toll" Draco said as gently as possible and I could tell he was treading lightly but every word just made me feel worse.

"Oh, trust me" I chuckled "This shit has definitely taken its toll and I am, in more ways then one fucked up but I am telling you that this is not one of them"

"Anna, you're a doctor. You spend all day preparing patients for the worst. You've sent more patients up to psych then anyone other Surgeon I've ever worked with. You've given this speech more times then you can count and surely you believe in the slightest that all this could be Phycological?" He tried to place a hand on my shoulder but I stood from his grasp and finally faced him.

"I'd let you talk me into the idea that this is my mind the first time it happened!" I snapped which had taken Draco back as he instantly shut his mouth and looked at him as though I'd just slapped him "Now it's happened again and I can promise you that it's fucking not!"

"AnnaLeigh, I—"

"I can't fucking do this anymore!" I shouted, my voice bounding off the old walls "I'm so sick and tired of living in constant fear, of having my guard up with every step! I'm so fucking scared every time Elora's owl doesn't show up on time or-or I don't get those little pictures from Lorenzo. I'm so done of having to worry about you and if you're gonna come home at the end of the day!"

"The only reason I'm holding on is because because of our kids, because of you—my-my husband! And now...now, the one person that I thought I could confide in, he's gone on and thinks I'm mad! I'm starting to think that Elora and Enzo deserve a mother who isn't me, who isn't putting them in danger because that all I'm doing! Is putting you and them at risk with every breath I take and I did fucking nothing!" I didn't even know I was crying until the drops hit my chin, running down to my collar bone.

"You are the only person keeping me sane and all I am asking is that you trust me, that you believe me because if you don't, then I'm left with no one and I'm barley lasting as it is, let alone with everyone around me thinking I'm a lost cause" I said a little more calmly now. I let the deep breaths rattle through my chest as I watched Draco stand up and take a step towards me.

"I believe you" he finally said and that made me look up at him slowly "I believe you and that's why I'm so scared. I'm refusing to acknowledge the fact that it's still attacking you and I don't know why. I can't help you and that's hurting me worse then my son or Astoria ever did and ever could"

"What do we do?" I said softly, my voice cracking slightly as I tried to hold back my sobs.

"For the first time in my life... I don't know" he chewed on his lower lip before stepping closer and pulling me into a hug. I laid my head on his chest as his arms wrapped around my waist. Listening to his heart beat reminded me that I wasn't really alone, but what was happening made me feel "I can't take away your pain and I'm so sorry"

Silently I cried into his jumper. This was the first time in my life where his warmth wasn't enough, his voice wasn't smooth and his presence only saddened me more.

Well, that what I wish I could think.

I couldn't help but feel like I was bothering him. He didn't sign up for this when he married me, I'd only dragged him and my two kids along. This wasn't fair on them, they had a choice and I'd made it for them.

Draco has told me multiple times that we're in this together but it never felt like that. He supported me, he helped me but sometimes I just felt so awful that he had to do that.

"I'm just really tired" I sighed "Sometimes I just want to sleep for hours and hours on end"

"I know" he whispered and hugged me closer to his body.

We stood like that for a moment more. No words were said and the atmosphere was so comfortable. In his arms, I felt safe and like nothing in the world could harm me, not even if it tried. Draco always had a way of making me feel like I was the only one in the universe that mattered.

His scent was home and being around him was like a breath of fresh air or a warm cup of your favourite beverage on a cold day.

And that's why I felt so awful when something went wrong. It was never just me that got affected but Draco and my kids as well.

I just hoped that me being myself was enough.

Short chapter but this was just a filler until something big 😳

Word count 1343.