before you love me | jjk

epilogue

Hannam the Hill Apartment Complex | 2:59pm KST | Friday 13th August 2021

The sun beat down on Narae as she carried her final few items outside.

Over the course of the week since they had been back in Seoul, she had been gradually moving out of the dorms, packing up her things to return to her own home.

She no longer had a reason to stay there – the album had been released, the tour had been completed and there was nothing tethering her to the apartment anymore. No one was keeping her there.

Rather than hauling everything out in one go, she had been making small trips, sorting out her life for the past twenty months into categories to move easily. First it was her coats and her books. Then came her shoes and her pictures, her cardboard cut-out, jewellery and her various knickknacks, then her clothes and her plants. All of it was cleared out of her room before nothing was left. 

Her room was empty and bare, stripped of all her belongings, but still, as she walked out, she couldn't help but feel like she was leaving something behind. 

"Hey, where did you want me to put this again?" Jungkook asked her, waving the plush toy around so that she could see it.

The boys had given it to her during the final concert in their last ending ment. Apparently they had been in contact with the same people that had created the BT21 characters and designed one specifically for her due to her love for the stuffed toys.

Dal was the most adorable dark blue wolf character. The reasoning they had given her for choosing the animal was because how typically, the trope of the 'lone wolf' was the most common one understood by others. However, despite it being characterized as an independent creature that moved around by itself, the wolf was largely a social creature that was fiercely loyal and was sustained by their connections with others.

They had told her that regardless of whether she moved around by herself, did her own activities as a solo artist and was no longer there physically, she'd always be a part of their pack –  she'd always have a home with them. Unsurprisingly, that had made her an uncontrollable sobbing mess.

This time though, they had all cried with her; it had been an emotional moment for all of them. Regardless of the fact that they would be able to see each other again, it was always tough saying goodbye. They were more than co-workers, more than friends – they had become a family. 

"The backseat please." Narae answered Jungkook, sending him a quick smile.

Things between them were cordial. It wasn't easy being around each other, but it wasn't as hard as they had expected it to be either. It hurt, but it wasn't suffocating or unbearable when they saw each other. It was like they had accepted the cards they had been dealt, and now needed the time apart to process exactly what that meant for the two of them moving forward.

As Jungkook squished the plush in beside her other things, he noticed an item and grinned to himself, picking it up and spinning it around his finger with a raised eyebrow in her direction. "Isn't this mine?"

It was the bucket hat from their impromptu fashion show that she had held on to. It must have somehow gotten mixed in with her things without her realizing. She asked him a question, willing the happy memories to stay forgotten, "Did you want it back?"

"Nah." Jungkook twirled it round once more before dropping it back where he found it. "It looks better on you anyway."

Narae wasn't sure if it was the summer heat or his words that warmed her cheeks.

"Thanks." She said simply before turning away, watching as one by one, the boys walked out of the house to say their final goodbyes.

Namjoon was the first to approach her, ruffling her hair with his usual dimpled smile, "Don't be a stranger."

"Never Joonie." Narae said as she wrapped her arms around his waist, "We still have our book club if you hadn't forgotten."

"Twice a month, every month – how could I?" He grinned as he released her, moving away so Jin could talk next.

"Make sure you eat properly and take care of yourself." Jin advised her with both hands on her shoulders, bending down to look her in the eyes so she could see he was serious.

Narae rolled her eyes fondly, "Yes dad."

"Listen to him please. I don't want to have to hear from Tianna that you've been replacing meals with snacks." Hoseok warned her, though his tone was light and playful.

Narae scoffed as he squeezed her to his side, "As if she would ever snitch on me."

Jimin was next up, enveloping her in a tight hug, "Keep in touch alright?"

"Of course." She nodded into his chest before detaching herself to give Taehyung a hug.

"Don't go finding new friends to replace us." He joked, his grip tightening before releasing her.

"I won't if you won't." She joked back before turning to Yoongi.

"I'm going to miss you little one." He said as he pulled her into a hug, his voice gruff, yet tender.

She didn't think she'd be that upset saying her goodbyes to him, knowing that out of all of them, he was the one that she'd most likely see the most being that he was married to her other best friend. Still, her eyes stung as they embraced, the rare term of endearment making her feel soft. 

"I'll miss you too Sugaboo." She mumbled into his chest before pulling away, blinking her tears back in the process.

Lastly, it was time to say goodbye to Jungkook.

The others left them alone to give them space and privacy. They had been surprised by the news of their breakup, but had never outwardly discussed their thoughts on the matter. They had liked the pair together, and were saddened by the news but the two were grown adults who could make their own decisions – their input wasn't necessary.

He moved closer to her, a wry smile tilting his lips, though it didn't do much to disguise the sadness behind them. "So I guess this is it?"

"Yeah, I guess it is." She answered, her eyes stuck on his.

"I'll miss having you around." He said.

"I'll miss being around." She replied.

He pulled her into a hug, placing a kiss in the middle of her hair before resting his chin there. Her arms clutched at the back of his shirt as she held him for what it felt like was the last time.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into her hair, before releasing her. Jungkook didn't want to let go, but he knew he had to.

She allowed her arms to drop to her side, immediately missing his warmth. Narae didn't want to let go, but she knew she had to.

"It's okay." She replied gently.

And it was okay.

For the first time in a long while, when it came to matters between her and Jungkook – it was okay.

[fin]