𝐓𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭 | 𝐓.𝐇

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑 ; 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝟑𝟔

Looking at the pot all I could think about is
Thomas not wanting kids. Why not?- Is it me?-
Is it him- I understood but to be honest...
Even thought it would be hard for me to conceive- I wanted kids

I want to have kids with him. I wantto be with him. To stay and have a big beautiful family.
I'm gonna ask him tonight about it

"Hello y/n" Hoyt said waving his his hands in my face, turning out of my deep thoughts I looked at them. Thomas was looking at me before going to help mama with the cooking.
Hoyt chuckled "the sex make your mind stop?" He snickers

Rolling my eyes I walked passed him going to mama and Thomas. I glanced at Monty and seen him looking out at the sun. "What you making?"
I asked mama and she looked at me
"Some soup that we usually make when it starts to get colder" she smiled

I nod a bit and turn to thomas who was busy cutting the wood to make it smaller  for the fire.
Mama sat down on a chair she had brought and red a book while the soup in the pot boiled. I decided to sit beside her

"You think I should try?" I whispered to her
She looked at me shocked and then smiled
"Hon..it's your body, whatever you think is best"
She pat my shoulder I smiled a bit
"I'm gonna" I said standing up going towards Thomas

"Thomas?" I said after a bit of watching him cut the wood. He turned his head a bit and looked at me before cutting the tree some
More
"We need to talk" I said to him he stopped what he was doing and looked a bit worried
"It's nothing bad I just- I just need to talk to you about something" I pulled his arm towards me.

He dropped the axe on the floor in which it fell relight beside his feet. He walked with me into the house to talk privately.
"Sex?" He asked about to take his apron off
I chuckled a bit "no not now..but-later"

He stopped and looked at me confused
"I um..I wanted to talk about our future you know, together?" I was scared of how to tell him. I was purposely saying other things rather then what my big question was

Gaining up all the courage I finally said it
"Do you want kids?" I said finally
He froze. It was silent through out the room.
All you could hear was Hoyt and mama talking in the distance.

For what felt liked hours, he just stood there and said nothing. I couldn't take it anymore so I just sighed tears brimmed my eyes
"I understand"  walking past him quickly I went to Monty instead I would turn a bit to see if Thomas ever came out but he never left the house.

"What did he say" Monty finally said still looking out at the sun
"He-he said nothing" i stutter choking on my sobs

He sighed "he has his reasons you know"
"Like what?"
"Well..one his medial issues, his skin, his a.d.d
And more" Monty said looking at me finally

"Y/n..he loved you but you got to understand that he doesn't want to kid to go through all the pain he went though and still goes through.
Do you really want your kid to have skin that's falls off and molds easily? Do you want a kid that everyone laughs at?"

I stopped and thought about that future and likely outcome if we had a kid.
"Kid, it would be a miracle if you don't die in birth"
Hoyt said walking behind me

Sighing "I just want him to understand..that I love him and want a future" I said lowly looking down "trust me..he knows,but you just need to go slow he's doing this because it's on you if your kid ends up looking retarded or deformed because you didn't listen to us"
Hoyt said before walking away

Monty sighed "he's got a point you know."
I nod a bit "I understand.."

After some hours of talking and eating mama gave me a big bowl of soup and bread
"Give this too Thomas" she said

Nodding I turned around and walked to church he house going to find the big baby.
Walking down the stairs I called him
"Thomas?" I said quilter before hearing quiet sobs

My heart hurt and I quickly put the food down on the table and went to go find him.
"Tommy?" I said getting closer to the sobs.
Finally I found him as he was in the dark corner
I quickly went to him and put my arm  around him

"Thomas what's wrong?" I asked looking at his tear stained face he looked at me
"I'm...afraid" he said lowly stuttering through his words and sniffles
"Oh honey..why?" I wiped his cheeks
"You..-kids" he mumbled "oh Thomas if you don't want any I understand I won't  budge"

He shook his head viciously
"I do" he looked at me serious smiling
"Hon it's ok" I kissed his cheek
"No..I want kids I do" he said

Sighing "are you positive?"

He went quiet thinking