Adventure Book (7)

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May 27, 1985

I'm back. These past few months, I've been in the Dream World, or, the World of Wonders (Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness).

The path before me is clear. The world is safe from Beyond Lawless as long as the portal remains closed. But I fear the lock I made for the portal will not be strong enough to hold these cosmic forces at bay forever. And if I've learned anything from a life of misfortune, it's that this is a burden I must shoulder alone.

When I tried to share my burdens with V, it destroyed the bond we once had and took its toll on her mental health. She had completely stopped updating me on what she and our mutual allies have been doing — however, she is the one who saved me, and for that, I am eternally grateful. She said she saved me for many reasons, but I'll tell you the only one you need to know: V found a boy, I'll call him L, who is a potential ally. He's dead, but not really — she brought him back to life, but he willingly refuses to wake up. Our other ally, F, needs me to go back to Headquarters and do what I can to observe L's condition. I'll be heading over there in two days.

And after all these months in exile, exploring the peculiar nightmarish dimension, there are precious few beings that I feel comfortable calling a "friend." What are the odds that in this human dimension, I can find someone who understands me on what I've been through? I̶ ̶l̶e̶f̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶p̶e̶r̶s̶o̶n̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶ ̶u̶n̶d̶e̶r̶s̶t̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶a̶y̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶d̶.

No. The life before me is one of constant solitary vigilance against the unimaginable insanity that is Beyond. I opened a door so He can enter this world, and I'll lock Him back out. If it's the last thing I do.

Back to my discoveries...

Infinity-Sided Die

Infinite sides mean infinite outcomes. But you'd be surprised at how often you roll a 2.

Exists in a state of quantum uncertainty. Don't stare at it for too long unless you want a headache.

This thing saved my life 4 times and endangered it around 20.

One time I rolled it and the sky permanently changed color. Luckily, that was in the Valley of the Blind, and no one noticed (although the one-eyed Araneidan did seem annoyed).

Obviously it's too dangerous to use in a simple game, but what could be the harm in just showing it to my ally, F? He loves all things weird.

Well, the harm in showing it to F turned out to be quite large. During one of our games, F rolled the die and accidentally summoned this bizarre man from the Dream World that my allies and I all know...

The Undertaker

His real name is unknown. He occasionally speaks in a Shakespearean manner and sometimes in riddles. He doesn't have any supernatural abilities, but he was the first person to ever wake up in the Mirror World and has somehow experienced and survived it all. I suppose you could say his contracts are his gifts. He can create any contract you ask him to — whether it's for him or someone else to sign. His contracts are absolute and unbreakable. Rumor has it, if you break his contract, you'll automatically be killed or silenced in some way. Not sure if this is true, since I don't have the courage to find out for myself.

     But perhaps his ability to find things is a gift, as well. He always knows where to find missing or lost things — seriously, ask him to find something you haven't found in years, and he'll be able to find it in less than 2 hours.

     As for his career, he prepares dead bodies for burial or cremation and he makes arrangements for funerals. Oddly enough, he loves this job. This leads me to believe he and the "Grim Reaper" would get along well.

Weeks ago at a funeral, he made a joke in the form of a riddle and everyone booed loudly.

     He and F don't have a good history. In fact, F despises him. Undertaker doesn't hate him, but won't go out of his way to talk to him. A few years back, F asked Undertaker for a contract for B to sign. Undertaker created the contract, but when B was killed, F realized the mistake he made. F doesn't exactly hate Undertaker as a person, he just wished Undertaker hadn't made the contract for him. I can't say what it is, as I don't exactly have the full picture myself — all I know for certain is, F and Undertaker killed B soon after that contract was signed. And B, being all-knowing, knew exactly what was on that contract, but was willing to do anything for his brother, F, if it meant he'd be happy.

My Journey

I remember those first moments after I was cast into the portal like it was yesterday. The sudden feeling of weightlessness, the helpless terror, knowing that I would soon face whatever mysterious horror had driven V to madness.

I held my breath and accepted that this could be the end. As luck would have it, it was only the beginning. I found myself standing by the door to the place Beyond had designed the portal to access, a place He screamingly refers to as...

THE WORLD OF WONDERS (DREAM WORLD)

The dimension between all dimensions...

The in-between space...

Gateway to other worlds...

But this is not a place Beyond would have made. He may be absolutely insane, but the worlds He creates are small and extremely difficult to find. He must've had help.

Swimming through a gravity-free sea of lightning and swirling colors, I found myself staring at, quite literally, a living nightmare.

Beyond's universe is not exactly a dimension, rather a bailing, shifting intergalactic foam - a lawless, unstable crawl space between worlds that only the strangest and most unknowable beings call home. The portal closed behind me, and I found myself trapped there, possibly for eternity.

Before I had a moment to properly panic over my fate, I realized that I was hovering before Beyond, who perched on a bizarre throne made of optical illusions flanked by an army of strange and shadowy beasts.

"LOOK WHO DECIDED TO PAY ME A VISIT!" He shrieked, his voice echoing. "CARE FOR A GAME OF CHESS? THIS TIME, YOU'RE THE PAWN!"

He snapped His fingers, and one of His beasts, a 60-foot-tall spider, charged at me. I managed to hide in a forest in the nick of time as the monstrosity passed by, and I ran past the trees in a panic as multiple beasts searched for me. Fleeing for my life, I miraculously managed to make shelter in an abandoned tent. Hidden deep within the recesses of the forest, I could hear Beyond's shrill voice:

"DOC WANTS TO PLAY HIDE AND SEEK! FIRST ONE TO FIND HIM AND BRING HIM TO ME GETS TO CONTRIBUTE THEIR IDEAS TO THE ETERNITY I HAVE PLANNED FOR YOU ALL."

It was followed by the manic laughter of creatures large and small racing off to locate me. I was so crazed from fatigue and rage that my first impulse was to give myself up to Beyond so I could put a curse on Him. But fortunately, I didn't do anything crazy, and decided to lay low and collect my thoughts.

{ End of Part VII }

[ "the people here give off a strange, almost deadly aura." }

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