I Still Miss You 💔. By A.ZChaudhry

Chapter 7

XANDROS

I had a new job. At a cafe. Sounds pretty dull to me but what else is interesting in my life except the new girl in uni. Ava. I saw her daily in class and she daily looked gorgeous as hell. We daily locked eyes and daily, she was the one to avert hers first because of the power of the gaze between us. I thought that there might be some days that I might not feel attracted towards her or that she may do something that'll take my mind off of her.

In secret, I did wish for that because I hated love.

Love. One fucking word and it destroyed lives. One moment of a fucking feeling and it caged you in for the rest of your life. It had many complications. Some are into a maze where you love someone but they don't love you back. Some are into the type where the other loves you but you don't. While some are into the one where both love each other.

The hardest? First. The easiest? Last.

Not in terms of maintaining it or facing other issues from family, that was a fucking must. But in terms of both having eyes on each other because love could never be forced onto someone. And it truly hurts when you have deep, ravishing feelings for someone but they don't reciprocate it back. When you can't stand to see them be with someone else, laugh with them, hug them, go out with them. It fucks you up pretty bad that a person loses their own senses, but you can't do anything.

They were never yours in the first place. To lose someone, they have to be yours first.

And hence I wished that there would sometime come a time where I might hate her, resent her and never want to associate myself with her to prevent myself. Exactly from what I feared the most. Heartbreak. Hurt. Betrayal. Pain. I didn't want that no more. I was no 'mafia tycoon' or 'God' to handle all of the pain. I couldn't anymore.

But daily, she seemed to strike even more beautiful than she possibly could. The more I looked at her, the more I helplessly kept falling for her. She never overdressed or underdressed. Never wore slutty dresses or dresses to show her body off, to seduce people or anything. None. Never. And that was a part of her personality that drove me closer to her. Her simplicity. Her innocence. Her shyness.

She guarded herself pretty well here. Never got close to boys, never hugged them or never let anyone touch her which did nothing but just drove me more mad for her. Who was she? Where was she from? What was her background? Why was she such a quiet person? What did she do in her spare time? What were her hobbies? I wanted to know everything about her. And above all...... was she interested in me? Did she find me attractive? Would she like to have me as a friend? As company? As the best friend she could ever ask for?

I knew I had feelings for her but did she have the same for me? Were these feelings reciprocated right now? I parked my car in the parking area of the cafe and turned off the engine when I rested back in my seat. I wanted to find out the answer to all of my questions. All of them. But I also didn't want to seem like a freak. I didn't want to stare at her for too long, didn't want to stalk her or make her uncomfortable by my constant presence. I wanted it to go smooth but I didn't know how to. I had never had a date before as I was never into those things; dating, kissing, having sex, moving in or staying nights? That wasn't my thing, that wasn't me. And why? Because honestly speaking....... no girl ever was an Ava Grace before.

*

Cafe was shit and by this time, I was one hundred percent convinced that nothing was wrong with the world, everything was wrong with me. I was finding every fucking thing annoying and this was alone to tell me that nothing outside was annoying, everything inside me was disturbed, restless and agitated and the reason, I was finding it hard to manage life. I sighed and parked my car outside the library before stepping out, locking it and heading inside the building to collect my books. Ms. Jones, an eighty-year-old, greeted me with the softest smile anyone has ever given me, apart from my mother, "Oh hello, dear."