I Still Miss You 💔. By A.ZChaudhry

Chapter 41

THREE YEARS LATER                   

XANDROS

I placed a rug over the grass and laid down on it, Ava sliding next to me until we were both gazing at the sky silently, letting our thoughts wander to every place possible. The sun was setting low, there was no one else in the park except two to three kids with their parents. The rest of the massive park was deserted with just my girl and I.

I let my mind wander over to all the departments that I had locked inside my brain, telling myself to never open them as shit used to hurt. Because of overthinking.

I had a bad habit of overthinking and that shit used to kill me before I could even get the opportunity to go down that path and actually try to make a change. I had a habit of always thinking the two extreme most ends of the spectrum; an opportunity that could go horribly bad or outrageously good. I was ready for it all.

I had always thought of spending a major chunk of my life with my parents, but they had passed away a long time ago, with my brother. One look at where I was today, and everything feels so different, so intricate, so....... so not me.

Ava rolled on top of me when I looked into the mesmerizingly beautiful eyes of my wife when I mirrored her expressions, a smile growing over my face and a twinkle taking over my eyes, peace dominating my heart, showing her how much I loved her and appreciated her being here with me. I rolled a strand of her hair around my finger and tugged her closer to me as I whispered, cheekiness audible in my tone, "Hey you."

She giggled and rested the side of her face on the top of my chest, "Hi."

I chuckled upon hearing the high pitch in her voice due to her shyness when I kissed the top of her head, "What's up?"

She looked at me, "You tell."

"Nothing much."

She tapped my head with her finger, "You were thinking something, want to share?"

"Ava-"

"Penny for your thoughts?"

I sighed and grabbed her from under her armpits when I pulled her closer to me, till her nose was pressed against my neck as she buried herself closer against me. I wrapped my arms around her, kissed her head, sighed and spoke, "I just don't want you to worry about anything, darling."

She started drawing random patterns over my chest, "You wouldn't. If you want me to share my worries with you so that you can help me fight the problem together, I want the same Xandros. We are in this together, we are a team and I want you to share your thoughts with me."

My eyes filled with tears for the burden I had been carrying all those years and never voicing it out when I tried to speak. Dammit I tried to speak but it was as if my throat was clogged up, as if there was this heavy block not allowing me to get anything across the barriers.

Ava looked at me and kissed my chest when she whispered, "The hero is too, a human, Xandros. The warrior too, needs a break. So let it out, honey, I'm there to hold you."

Something cracked inside me when I croaked, "Ava...."

She brought herself more upwards towards me and touched her nose to mine, "You break in front of me, anytime that you want. You go out there, be this tough guy and I will support you, even with that fake mask, because it will only help you to protect yourself and not let anyone else use you. But when you're with me?" She rubbed her nose with mine and pecked my lips, "You break down."

I felt my heart quivering and curling into a ball because of the sadness dominating it when Ava ran her hands through my hair, "Open up, baby. I'm here."