I Still Miss You 💔. By A.ZChaudhry

Chapter 18 part II

XANDROS

My heart was suddenly heavy as I turned to the road the graveyard was on. Gravel scrunched under my car tyres and my hands were shaking a bit but I tried to control them. Sweat broke over my forehead when Ava said, "Damn, I can never live on any road that has a graveyard in it's lane."

"Why?"

She said quietly, "Graveyards scare me, Xandros. They also make me feel sad for all those who are no more here with us. I mean....... there are many good people there who were never acknowledged in their life, never appreciated or loved and when they died? People mourned for a day or two, wishing that they could have been alive and then back to routine, as if it was all just a mere act and that they don't care.

Some people here are those who died alone, had no one and random people buried them as they had no one. Some people here left their loved ones behind who are craving to meet them daily, who cry themselves to sleep daily wishing they could get one more hug. It-it.... it just is too painful to imagine all of this. You understand me?" I nodded but didn't comment as I was feeling too heavy to say something.

I was thinking as to how will she react when she gets to know about it, will it make her sad for a few days and be normal for the rest of her life? Will she feel my loss as her own despite the fact that we hadn't been dating for long. Will she feel the death of every single member of my family? The graveyard came into view when I took in a deep breath and moved my shoulders to relieve off the tension for a bit, to try to shrug off some of the burden and calm myself down. I was certain that I was about to pee myself due to the stress when the gates of the graveyard came to view.

Gripping the steering wheel and pinching my eyes close shut before opening them again, I took in a deep breath and counted. One. Two. Three. Relax Xandros and here goes nothing. I made a right and parked my car right in front of the graveyard, turning the ignition off.

My stomach made a horrible dip and I felt like puking my guts out when she looked at me, her voice coming out a bit hollow and hoarser, when her body was rigid as hell, "Why would you stop here? I just told you how much I don't like being here."

I looked at her and took off my seatbelt before taking off hers, "Before we meet our family, I want you to meet someone else too."

She gulped and nodded when she stepped out. Locking the car, we were about to enter when she stopped and looked at me, whispering urgently, "I am wearing a skirt, Xandros."

"It's okay, leave it-"

She squeezed my hand in a warning tone, "No. I can't go inside like this. I only just realized."

I sighed and went back to my car when I opened the back door and took out my spare coat. Locking it and going back to her, I stood behind her as I wrapped it around her waist, half of her legs covering now when I placed my hand on her lower back, "Is it okay now, darling?"

She nodded a yes and grabbed my hand again when we started walking. I insisted her to carry all the flowers saying that we could buy more for my family when I knew better ofcourse. We weaved through pathways and my heart kept getting heavier and heavier with each step. My heart was drumming against my eardrums and my brain was begging me not to go there because of the pain I would face later.

And this time, it would be a bit more knowing that Ava's reaction would kill me, not because of the fact that my girl was feeling my pain or not because of the fact that my girl was in pain because of me.............but because of the fact that the one girl I love the most? The only girl I would lay out my life for? The one girl I would die for any second? Her cry would just confirm the fact again that my family was gone. It would make it more real, and that shit hurts like a son of a bitch.