Kabanata 29

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As their first son, I wouldn't be surprised to know they're waiting to have a grandchild from me. Yet hearing Papa say he's fine that... hindi ko siya bigyan ng apo... It's surprising... and I never felt this alleviated since I started going out with girls in my teenage years.

To say it honestly, I've never thought about that thing. The thing I will bear a child of my own in the future. It's always all about marrying someone and then live with them for the rest of our lives. Which is... stupid since having your own family requires you to have a child. Tapos hindi ko iniisip 'yun?

Maybe I have a lot of things on my plate... kaya hindi man lang dumaan iyon kahit saglit. For a while, that thought haunt me and stiffened my body. Is it really my responsibility to continue our name? Our generation?

Pero... may tatlo pang Castillo sa pamilya namin and they're all men... Kayang-kaya na nila ibigay ang gusto ng mga magulang namin pagdating sa pagkakaroon ng mga apo.

The next day, I apologized to Papa for that. Wala akong ibang sinabi dahil alam namin pareho na siya pa lang ang nakakumpirma ng nararamdaman ko kay Dustin. Which is good because... he said it's really nothing for him. At nakikita naman niya na... hindi ko muna gugustuhin maging kagaya niya.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Malaki ang mundo dahil sa isang rason, anak." he smiled reassuringly. Is he saying I still have the whole world before I settle in?

The pain in my feet completely abated the next two days. Nagpahinga lang ako nang isang araw para hindi ako mabinat pero pagbalik ko sa trabaho, parang nasa bahay lang ako, nakatayo at ayaw pagalawin ng mga kasama.

"Walang naputol sa akin na kamay o paa, guys." inis kong angil nang hindi na naman nila ako pagbuhatin ng mga lamesa.

Tinawanan lang nila ako lahat. "Dapat thankful ka muna na hindi ka gagalaw pero swesweldo ka pa rin?"

Incensed, ako na lang ang naglagay ng mga table cloth sa mga lamesa, kasama na rin sa mga upuan. We have a Golden Anniversary event and unang-una kong hinanap ay kung may photographer ba sila.

And it didn't sit right with me to see na iba ang nakuha ng family. A part of me is grateful it wasn't Dustin dahil baka makaganti ako sa ginawa niya sa paa ko but a bigger part of me (my heart and brain) wanted it to be him. Matangkad na tao iyon at hinding-hindi kaagad si Dustin.

When we finished packing up, I checked my Facebook and searched for his Facebook page; kung mayroon lang naman.

I overheard the photographer earlier, with his assistant, saying to some guest who wanted to hire them na may example sila ng past shots nila sa Facebook page nila. I felt stupid not thinking immediately if he has like that but surely... meron iyon.

They are busy talking about the sliced caked na nahulog kanina sa event and the kid who ate it on the floor but my eyes are busy typing Dustin's studio name on the search bar.

Automatically, may lumabas kaagad na result na hinahanap ko. It's not that big but it has thousands of likes already and some of my friends knew about it. Just like the sign in front of his studio, ganoon din ang profile at cover photo ng page.

His recent post is... ano pa ba? The fun shoot he had with the influencer daw. But I thought he was just bluffing with those words dahil ang daming engagements ng post na iyon and the comments are praising him and the model. I can't help but to smile.

The people don't need to know what happened that time; as long as tapos na at naibigay na niya 'yung kulang. Though I'm not sure if that latter is true. Hindi niya ako sinagot kung tama ang mga bills na binigay sa kaniya, remember?

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