Behind His Curtain (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 32

For the first time, I'm not anticipating going out of my room. I've finally understood why Heil has to bring me some of my meals for the reason he might have sensed the feelings I have inside. But I have to go now. Hindi ako lumabas buong araw after that night.

It means I had an absence from my work. And Dustin already asked me about it and informed me the pictures are now ready to be printed. Mukhang wala pa siyang alam kaya...

I was expecting very heavily that I'd see Mama in the sala or in the kitchen, but what greeted me was the deserted house of ours. Wala kahit isa ang gumagalaw; if there's one, kurtina lang namin iyon na hinihipan ng hangin galing sa labas. Huminga ako nang malalim at lumabas na.

Just like our house, the road is deserted. Pero sa kaliwa ko ay nandoon sila lahat sa dulo, nagsasaya o kaya pumapasok na sa mga trabaho. Sinubukan kong tanawin sa magkabilang dulo ang magulang ko o ang mga kapatid pero baka nasa school sina Heil at Haiden.

Dederetso na sana ako palabas but seeing Dustin's house... reminds me of the fact that it was his mother who exposed me to my own mother. Bakit... bakit kailangan kong sabihin sa kaniya noong bago sila umalis na... I was working with Dustin? Of course, she'd surmise na wala—shit, sinabi ko pala na... na natanggal ako. Fuck!

"Ang tanga-tanga mo sa lagay na 'yun, Henry." sabay sapo ng noo. Paano niya sinabi sa dalawa na wala na ako sa Parkes? Habang nagkuwe-kuwentuhan sila sa bakasyon nila? I don't know...

I balled my fist and tried to calm myself down. I have to live the words I said the other night: she's still his mother. Kung sinabi man niya iyon nang intentional or not, wala pa rin akong karapatan. At saka, hindi ba sabi ko noong gabi na iyon na it's bound na... malalaman nila?

Naunahan lang talaga ako.

I swallowed all the thoughts and proceeded to walk. But I knew when I passed by their house, I missed something. Nasa dulo lang ng dila ko.

The sky is vivid blue today and I want to say that for the first time since I walked out of our house to look for my first job after graduating, this has been the most calm and assured state I was in. I can look around, not thinking about what if I was that or this... I can go outside without having to realize that I'll end up being like them all my life. Well, maybe I will but... at least, the void in my heart has finally filled in.

"Diyos ko, may naaksidente ata."

Naaalarma kaagad ang buong sistema ko at tiningnan ang driver. Tulala ang kondisyon ko nang sumakay ako sa tricycle pero para akong fire alarm na pinindot at naging mapagmatyag. Sinundan ko ang paghaba ng leeg niya sa harap para tingnan ang nangyayari. True enough, huminto ang tricycle at nasa kabilang kanto na kami mula sa studio nina Dustin.

Sunod-sunod na may mga dumaan, o tumakbo,  sa gilid ng tricycle para lapitan ang pinangyarihan. My tongue felt dry. Umuga ang tricycle, hudyat na bumaba ang driver kaya sumunod ako. But unlike him na dumeretso saglit, nanatili ako sa kung saan ang tricycle at tiningkayad na lang para makita.

All I could see was... the tilted tricycle and flock of people surrounding the sides of it. May mga umiiyak na at sumisigaw ng tulong at mas lalo akong kinabahan sa nangyari.

Oh, God please...

I immediately tried ringing Dustin but he's not answering. Sigurado nandoon pa siya sa studio dahil hindi naman siya umuwi! But what if... he goes out to buy breakfast? Or anything? And what if he's...

"Kawawang babae na naka-motor, sana dumating na 'yung ambulansya dahil duguan din 'yung driver!"

"Walang sakay 'yung tricycle?"

"Wala. Nagsalubong sila dahil nga intersection, 'di ba? Mukhang buntis pa 'yung babae na naka-motor."

Subalit kumalma ang pagtibok nang puso ko roon ay hindi pa rin ako nakampante. Agad-agad kong hinanap si kuyang driver sa likuran ng mga nagkakagulo at inabot ang bayad. "Ihahatid pa kita, hijo!"