MINDBLOWER • Alex Turner

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚 𝒔𝒊𝒙

Think, wonder, doubt, consider.

That's all you've been doing lately. Repeatedly. But you still didn't give Oliver an answer.

And Sophia, after explaining to her everything that happened, said that not being sure could be an important sign. And maybe she was right.

When the right person proposes to you, it should be clear that you want to say “yes” and spend the rest of your life with them. No matter how scary it might sound — You just would go for it, because as long as you're with that person, you feel like you can go through everything.

But, even if Oliver was all a sane woman would want, your heart was still divided.

Divided since Alex came back to your life. And you could do nothing about it.

He came back showing how much he still cared about you, how much he needed you by his side. How much he missed you — So much that he still kept drawings and pictures as if they were invaluable treasures for him.

Every time you looked at his face, you felt at home. Just like when you both were happy together in Sheffield, and you couldn't stop wondering if, one day, it could be the same again.

• • •

Keeping your brain busy for so long gave you a few headaches. Again. But they were different this time.

And not different because of the pain, that remained the same; but because Oliver didn't seem to show that concern anymore. Not that you blamed him for it, though.

These past days, he could barely look at you, or even talk to you. It was like it hurt him to do so, and you knew his mind was just as fucked up as yours.

It wasn't a pleasant sight to see him like that. So quiet, frowning and out of energy. So despite the pain pounding in your head, you sat down next to him on the couch, and felt him shift slightly.

"Hey, I know this is a stupid question but," -You started. -"Are you okay?"

His eyes remained glued to the window next to where you were both sitting, his gaze lost in the sky.

"What do you think?"

A question that worked as an answer. You sighed.

"I know this isn't an easy moment in our relationship, Oli. But this hurts me as much as it hurts you... And I don't like seeing you like this."

"Well, I'm sorry for not being in the best mood after the answer you gave me the other night." -He sarcastically apologized.

"Why are you acting like I'm perfectly fine after giving you that answer?" -You spat. -"Do you think I don't care at all?"

"It's not that, (y/n), I—" -He trailed off. -"Nevermind, just— Forget about it."

"But Oliver—"

"I said," -He interrupted you harshly. -"Forget about it."

You took a deep breath and looked at him -well, at the back of his head, seeing that he still didn't look at you once- and, with tears filling your eyes, you stood up, grabbed your phone and headed to the front door.

You shot him one last glance before leaving the house.

• • •

You cried and cried. That's all you could do.

You had driven to the beach — to a nice, quiet place nobody seemed to have found yet. Just you. And you were glad, because it would be embarrassing to have someone seeing you cry your heart out. Alone.