It's too late

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Locked in a pantry with your ex-husband who you've already cheated on

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Locked in a pantry with your ex-husband who you've already cheated on.  Why not, right?  We've been here for almost twenty minutes, I feel like breaking down this door with Yn leaning against it, in fact, I want to strangle her right now.

— Well... Maybe now is the time to talk... We're here, aren't we?  -Ben tried to act like this situation was funny, but it didn't work.  I didn't laugh at it, I continued to stare at him.

— Want to talk here? -I looked at him and he nodded and sat on the floor facing me.

— Come on Jen, I'm serious.

— Okay… I don't know what went through my head, you know?  I've always had those setbacks of mine about how I was, how I looked, my body and other things.  When we went out and people met us on the street, they always criticized us for being together...

— You know I never cared about that.

— Still, Ben, I called, when I laid my head on the pillow those were the thoughts that came to my mind.  I started to think you were with me because of Yn, or even out of pity.

— Why didn't you ever tell me that?

— Out of shame, I was always the problem in the relationship, I was the one who always cried, screamed, or complained about something.

— And your way of getting away from it was to betray me? Cheating on the guy who was always by your side?  Who always supported you and never left you, no matter how wrong your decisions were?

— But… But you have to… - I tried to say something and unfortunately I had no arguments.

— Understand?  Understand what, Jennifer?  Have you ever stopped to think how many relationships I've had after the two of us?  Few, very few.  Unlike you,  was never able to be alone for one month.

— I'm sorry, I have this problem...

— You have?  -he said ironically. — I stopped my whole life because I still had hopes of us being together.  But when I tried to say something about loving you or remembering the past... There was Jennifer Lynn Lopez, stepping on my heart and dating some asshole.

— I know I was wrong, wrong in choosing people and wrong with you!

— With me you didn't make a mistake, with me you didn't have an iota of consideration!  Do you know how painful that is?  I... I love you!

— You mean you don't love me anymore?  -I asked trying to hold back the tears.

— No…I don't.  - He said rudely getting up.  — YN OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, I HAVE TO GET OUT!  - He shouted knocking on the door, Yn unlocked it and he left in a rage.

— But I love you!  I told you this because I wanted to turn myself in again.  -I ran after him. — You don't know how much i miss you here, I know I did everything wrong.  Forgive me, please forgive me, Ben... - I said, pulling his arm.

— It's too late.  -He pulled his arm and walked out the door.

— Please, Ben... -I whispered watching his car leave.

— Mama... Haven't you guys made up your mind? -Yn appeared behind me with a scared face.

— No… I made everything worse!  -I thought out loud and turned to her.  I looked into her eyes and walked out of there, up the stairs and locked myself in the room.

I went into the closet and started looking for a bottle of tequila, I remember hiding it there a few weeks ago, and it was today that I would drink it all.

— What's my problem?  I can't do anything right!  -I wondered, rummaging through the hangers.
— Where's that bottle?  -I went through some blouses and found them. I opened the lid and turned it all over in my mouth.

I practically threw myself on the floor as I sat in the middle of the closet.  I set the bottle aside and kicked off my shoes, tied my hair in a bun and took a deep breath looking at the ceiling.

— YOU DO EVERYTHING WRONG, JENNIFER! WHY AM I LIKE THAT?  -I threw the bottle at the wall, hearing the glass shatter and the rest of the tequila litter the floor.  — I RUINED EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING!  -I pulled my own hair.

After pulling my hair out and mentally cursing myself, I stretched out on the floor looking at the ceiling.  All the memories of when Ben and I were together swirled around in my head, and of course, the memories with Casper too.

—  just lost the man of my life, he's right.  Who was always by my side?  Who always supported me?  - I said to myself realizing how stupid I had been.  — YOU STUPID, STUPID, STUPID! - I hit my hands on the floor.

— Mama? Are you well?  -Yn knocked on the bedroom door. — Open the door.

— LEAVE ME ALONE!  -I screamed wiping my face.  I got up from the drink-stained floor and walked to the door.  — I DON'T HAVE THE COURAGE, SUNSHINE... I don't have the courage to leave here...

— Please mama, I know you guys are going to get it right. - she said from outside the room.

— Let's not go, you heard your father... He doesn't love me anymore..."

— He love you, I can prove it.

— Leave things as they are, if you try to do something, it will all get worse.

— I'm sorry... I thought this would help you... - She blamed herself and unlocked the door.  I hugged her tight.

— One way or another this would happen, it's not your fault, okay?  I broke away from the hug and kissed her cheek.  “I know you wanted everything to be okay, it just wasn't this time.
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So many things are happening in my life, I don't know whether to beat my cousin for doing things wrong, update the story, or kill myself right away.But we stand firm, I can't give up my life 🤍

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