THE WEDDING DRESS

23.

"If you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise, the moment just... passes you by."

"The moment just.. passes you by."

"The moment just.. passes you by."

"The moment just.. passes you by. "

"The moment just.. passes you by. "

"The moment just.. pass-"

Tin grabs the remote and turns off the TV. "Kahit isang libong beses mo pang i-rewind yan hindi mo na maibabalik yung pagkakataong sinayang mo. Hindi isang pelikula ang buhay mo, totohanan yan! He clearly gave you a chance. And just like Julianne you let that moment passed!"

For the hundred times I've watched My Bestfriend's Wedding, it made me realized that somehow, life is like a movie after all. You can always go back to a certain moment and play it all over again but you can never change anything. The beginning will always be the way it began. The end will end the way it ended unless there's a sequel. Another moment. Another chance.

The only difference is that watching the same movie over and over again for a long time doesn't give you the same feeling the first time you watched it, but in real life, as you imagine one particular moment it seems like the emotions you felt in that moment are felt again.

"Did I ever tell you about this same thing he said fourteen long years ago?" Umayos ako sa pagkakaupo at nagbukas ng soju.

"Countless times." Inagaw sakin ni Tin ang bote at sya ang uminom. Tiningnan ko sya ng masama dahil last na yon pero ibinalik lang din nya ang tingin dahil panglima ko na yon. Napasandal nalang ako sa sofa.

Huminga ako ng malalim habang nakatingala sa kisame. "Sabi nya umamin na ako coz he might consider taking our relationship to the next level.. like more than friends.. ganun."

"At ano ngang sinagot mo? I'm not romantically in love with you? And I will never ever love you? Is that it?" Tumungga ulet si Tin ng soju saka tumawa. "Hah! You're a fool!"

"I know I am.."

"Buti alam mo.."

"But the thing is nung time na yon, I was worried na baka pinagtitripan na naman nya ako! Kung ako ikaw aamin ka na ba nun ha?"

"Hindi rin! Hahahaha!"

"Kita mo na? Kahit ikaw rin! He doesn't take me seriously, hanggang ngayon!" Napatingin ako kay Tin at tinangka kung agawin ang iniinom nya.

"Pero hindi ko sasabihin na I would never ever love you!" Sabi Tin na inilayo pa ang bote para hindi ko maabot.

Napabuga nalang ako ng hangin bago sumandal muli sa sofa.

"And yesterday's different! He clearly wants to imply something! And you don't even say a word!" Biglang in-on ni Tin ang TV at niplay back dun sa kanina ko pa binabalik balikan na eksena...

At habang binibitawan ni Michael ang mga linyang yon hindi ko maiwasang balikang muli ang nangyari kahapon sa white city..

Paalis na ako nun pero naisipan kung dumaan doon sa short cut na ngayon e alam na ng lahat. Yung dating mga mahogany na nagsisilbing footpath ko noon e napalitan na ng mga flowers at nagkaroon narin ng stairs na may railings ang steep na daan. Andame ng nagbago sa Eternity Paradise at mas naging crowded.

Naglalakad na ako pababa when I saw him sitting in one of the steps infront of me. Likod palang alam kong sya yon kaya tinabihan ko sya ng hindi sya tinitingnan.

"Antagal mo?"

Nagulat ako kasi hinihintay nya pala ako kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. "How do you know I'm here?"