Memories I am afraid I'll forget

Personal entry: My childhood

I was not planning to tell you about my childhood here, ever. But plans come and go, and I truly believe that my story would not be complete without it. You would not understand otherwise. Maybe future Mayor Mahen had an effect on me when he, showing off his perfect pedigree, started talking about where he came from. We have many similar traits and history, I would say.

Imagine the smallest town you have ever been to. That is where I lived. The city (nope) of Tiszaföldvár. Not even in Tiszaföldvár, but in its smallest, tiniest part, Homok. I was the girl with the longest fair hair that outsmarted everyone at school (at least that is what I thought of myself). Not that it was a big challenge, though. By the time I went to school, I could read already, so imagine the boredom when everyone else was just learning to read. I had the best teacher you could ask for in the first 2 years of primary school, so she understood student diversity and gave me extra tasks that I felt were treats and finally challenged me a bit. I still remember one of these tasks. The task said: 'If you could choose which one of these items would you put in your pocket?' And there was a picture of a tissue and one of a lollipop. As you already know I have a sweet tooth, you might already have guessed correctly which one I chose. Apparently, I should have chosen the tissue, but my teacher asked me why I chose it. I still remember being very much into my thoughts about why the tissue would be the better choice. I already had tissues, but I did not have a lollipop handy.

Anyways, sometime later, my classmates caught up with me, but for me, the difference was striking. I was smarter than the rest. As for a little 6-year-old, this is not too hypocritical yet to say, right? Or is it?

Well, thinking about it, there was maybe one girl, who kept up with me, but as it turned out over the years, she had no self-control or perseverance, so she never completed any of her formal higher education either. But it turns out that I was completely right about all but one of my classmates. This other classmate I had had since first grade turned out to be so motivated and conscientious that (probably because of these traits) he became my best friend over the years. I can proudly say that we have been now friends more than 26 years. Oh Jeez, that's a lot.

In primary school, I was always searching for challenges, as normal education was not enough. My parents, used to be living from paycheck to paycheck, made sure I got every opportunity to enhance my abilities, let it be music, playing the piano, going to choir, attending music school, dancing ballet, or attending English classes. I can never be thankful enough to them. They utilized what they knew of the world and made sure I get all the chances a small town can give anyone like me (or others). I barely had a day when my afternoon was free, but I did not need more time to study for school, I was pretty good at everything with not much of an effort.

Going to high school, I relaxed. But at the same time, I suddenly felt I needed to study more to get my straight As. It was strange that for the first time ever, I really needed to study. Especially when 11th grade came and I attended higher level classes in English and in History. To be honest, I have always loved English the most, and I was lucky enough to have the best English teacher during my high school years. She made me love English even more (if that was even possible). I cannot be grateful enough for her. I do not have to tell you I guess, but I never prepared for my English classes, except the fact that if we had written homework, this was always the first subject I ticked off my list at home, as this was the easiest and the fastest I could solve.

Still, it was a mystery to me how others were almost failing classes. My classmates practically hated our biology teacher. I loved her. No surprise. She had a lovely heart but was close to retirement. She loved me, as I always scored straight As with her, too. What I realized in high school was that what you learn does not matter – at least not for every teacher. It is the way they want you to learn it what gets you the good grades. So, my classmates were learning everything from the biology book, but I took notes and simply remembered what our lovely teacher was saying. I remember one time she was handing out exams and highlighted that I even remembered how many liters of fluid goes through the kidneys a day (200 liters btw – I still remember and I took her classes exactly 15 years ago, that is how good a teacher she was).

Scoring an almost perfect school-leaving exam was easy for me, finishing on top of the class. Nothing surprising. I wish I had known what it would have been like to attend better schools than mine was. I know I am privileged and could have been worse off, though. I got lucky with all my amazing (and not so amazing) teachers as well.

Higher education was a heaven for me. I started not learning at all, I enjoyed exams and the fact that I did not need to have straight As anymore. At least I did not feel the urge or the motivation. Then I got into business minors, and there I finally had something of a spark again. All I needed was motivation. After finishing my bachelors in English (which I still think was a good choice), I transferred to the Faculty of Economics and Business Administration (yes, my current workplace) for my masters. I knew it was the right place for me. If I wanted to grow and finish what I had started (remember the 6-year-old in this tiny town?), this was the place to go. After winning a national competition, PhD was a straight direction. Not that I enjoyed my first two years, but I got a third degree in translation in the meantime. That is when I decided that I'll never be a translator, ever. But then on, I got the liking of the PhD student lifestyle, enjoyed teaching and I still felt I had a lot more to learn there.

2 years have passed since I got my PhD and I still feel the urge to develop and learn. That tiny inkling and tickling motivation is the reason I am here on my Fulbright journey.

20 September 2022