" here, help yourself "
Lorrie placed down a cold water on the side table. I just woke up from the procedure. Nothing is new after every therapy I went on. I have headache and my body felt like its been drained of energy.
" I dont think I can last longer. "
Tahimik niya akong pinagmasdan habang malayo ang lipad ng aking isipan sa kawalan.
Every time we do this, my body is losing life. I can feel it. It's like the only thing that is providing me nutrients are the drugs I am taking.
" When are you going to stop saying that ? It really get insulting you know ? "
" that's just how it feels. I'm letting you know just in case I wouldnt be able to wake up. "
" damn it, hindi ka na ba talaga makikinig sa akin ? I'm not joking River. "
I drink the cold water and did not speak again. I know I am always initiating this and it always ended up with her crying. It wasnt my intention.
After an hour I sat with doctor Gallejo and Lorrie. The results from the last time are already final. The other doctors arent around today but they spent the whole two months studying the results. This is the moment I've been waiting for.
" those memories are real arent they ? they belong to someone. "
Lorrie already told me the initial result beforehand. I just needed doctor Gallejo to confirm it and explain it further.
" Those are real indeed. Those fragmented memories that kept reappearing in your mind are someone else's memories that was transferred to your mind unintentionally. "
" do you know why ? " I couldnt help but asked a logical question.
" I'll ask you first, when you woke up next to that river, you know how to speak, identify and use your senses right ? In other words you are rational. At that right moment, you didnt question your own mind functioning normal. All you are thinking then, is why are you there. Is that correct ? "
" Yes " mahina kong sagot habang inaalala ang memorya kong iyon.
He starts to write down something and gets busy with his papers for a while before turning back to me.
" what happened to you is still a mystery. How did you end up there in the river is beyond what we can provide. I'm afraid we cannot tell you the events that happened before you wake up. However, we can tell you information about what happened to your mind. A deviant is responsible for triggering your mind. A person needs to have locomotive, speech, memory and calculation in his mind to get functioning. I'll make this simple for you iha, like I said we have no idea what happened before you wake up. All these research conclude is that, something in your brain stopped working and it needs something like a medium to make a penetration and fix it. As to what is wrong with your brain, we failed to analyze it. Although we found traces of saxitoxin from the first time we did your therapy. We need few more years to examine the brain to be able to tell which part of it that suffered most from the toxins. Unfortunately we cannot conduct an examination for that matter unless the person is dead and the brain is no longer functioning. "
I have toxins in my brain.
It just got me wondering. Did I suffer from a neurotoxicity before ? My nervous system got damaged. If I have to think of it more profoundly, it has a strong connection as to why I ended up having no memory at all. Kung ano man ang nangyari sa akin ng mga panahong may kung ano sa utak ko, malaki ang posibilidad na isa ito sa dahilan ng pag gising ko ng walang kahit anong maalala. Only that deviant can answer my question. How did they know exactly what to do and how the hell did they revive a brain that's been damage.
