Autumn Showers

7- The one with the cookies

Trigger warning: Mentions of self-harm, please read at your own risk, your mental health is far more important than any book x

I stare tiredly at the pictures of the girl who I used to be, her bright grin, the sparkle in her eyes and my chest begins to ache. Because I know, I'll never get that sparkle back.

I slowly stand up and walk towards my mirror, I narrow my eyes in disgust at the broken mess, I've become. I've lost a significant amount of weight, my hair is dull and limp. The bags under my eyes are almost purple.

I raise a tremble fist towards the mirror, I let put a shaky breath before I begin to punch it repeatedly. A sob escapes my lips as the pain radiates throughout my body, I clutch my now bloody fist.

Fuck.

My body begins to waver with dizziness as the pain becomes more severe, I just sit and watch the blood begin to drip down to my carpet. As I watch it fall, I feel nothing, absolutely nothing.

I curse as I run to my bathroom and grab a towel, I wrap it tightly against my hand. I slowly sink down to the floor. I rock my body back and forth.

I don't understand why this happened to me?

Did I deserve it?

I wasn't the nicest person, I admit that. In-fact, I was a total bitch.

Maybe, a part of me did deserve it.

My eyes widen in shock as I near numerous knocks on my door, I squeeze them shut hoping that if, I ignore the person they will just leave. But instead, they grow more persistent.

My stomach drops.

Did he find out where I was?

Did Kyle give him my address?

A strangled sob escapes my lips, I stand up and lock the bathroom door, even though that no-one else is in the house. I just needed to be safe, all I cared about was being safe.

The back of my jean pocket begins to vibrate, I flinch before I read the caller ID, I hesitantly answer.

'Autumn! Hi, I'm outside your house, I'm not sure if you are in but I baked you some cookies as a thank you for the other day.'

I furrow my brows together as my body relaxes, 'Y-Yeah, I'm in, just give me a minuet.'

'Perfect!'

I hang up before looking down at my bloody knuckles, the towel it was wrapped in is now completely soaked with crimson. I hiss as I unwrap it, I grab numerous make-up wipes that were sat on my counter and create a make-shift bandage. The sharp pain spikes through me as a I stand up to walk downstairs, I grind my teeth together to stop from crying out.

I swing the door open to reveal a sheepish looking Scarlett stood in-front of me with a plate of cookies, stood behind her completely unphased on his phone was Lucas.

'I'm so thankful, you helped Luke find me! I can't believe, what a state I go into. I'm so sorry to make you go all that way, it was so unfair of me. So, I baked you some cookies as a thank you, I know it doesn't make up for anything but still, here you go!'

I shake my head as my face softness at her pureness, I hate to admit it, but this could be one of the most friendship-like things anyone has ever done for me, and it was coming from 'Slutty Scarlett', the girl I've notoriously teased for years.

'Y-You don't have to thank me, we are somewhat...you know, so I'm happy to help.'

I really tried to say the word friend, but I couldn't, if I would have said it, it would have sounded bitter.

Her eyes dart towards my hand in alarm, 'W-What happened?'

I freeze slightly, 'I-I tripped over and my hand ended up colliding with my mirror, I'm such a dumbass.'

Her frown deepens, 'It looks really painful, are you going to get it checked out?'

I shake my head, 'My mom is working late, so I'll probably just try to fix it myself.'

'Don't be a fucking idiot, you need to get it checked.' Lucas pipes up briefly looking up from his phone.

I narrow my eyes, 'I don't want advice from you.'

'Then don't be a fucking idiot.'

Scarlett sends him a look of warning before turning back to me, 'We will take you! We're not doing anything this afternoon anyway.'

'I-It's fine-'

'I don't take no for an answer.'

'Scarlett, honestly-'

'We are taking you.'

'But-'

I let out a small groan of annoyance before nodding, 'Fine, I'll grab my coat.'

I gingerly take the cookies from Scarlett's hand before placing them down on our coffee table, I grab a random coat from our hanging rack before heading out of the door. My eyes burn as the fabric of the coat digs into my cuts.

I'm somewhat thankful to see it was Lucas' car parked in my driveway and not Scarlett's, as she can't drive for shit. I mean that in the kindest way possible, but she drove as if she was in fucking Mario Kart or something.

'You can sit up front, as you are injured!' The pink haired girl says as she stops me from opening the rear door.

I nod silently as I slide into the passenger's seat, Lucas' gaze is on me as he examines my hand with an unreadable expression, he scoffs before shaking his head.

I narrow my eyes, 'W-What?'

'Nothing.'

'Clearly, you have something to say, so just fucking say it!'

'It wasn't a fucking accident.'

I falter slightly before the anger in my chest begins to bubble, 'Fuck you. Are you accusing me of hurting myself?'

'That's exactly, what I'm doing. And if that is the case, you need to speak to the people around you instead of lying.'

I snort, 'If it was true, which it isn't, why the fuck do you care?'

He laughs slightly, 'I don't, but self-harm isn't some one of thing, habits form.'

I raise my eyebrow at the slight desperation in his voice for me to be able to hear him, I shake my head as my voice softens only by a fraction, 'It wasn't self harm.'

He turns to look at me to try and figure out if he believes me, he clenches his jaw but nods, 'Okay.'

'You need to be careful though, it almost sounded as if you care.'

'Trust me, princess. I don't care.'

'You know lying to yourself, is seriously unhealthy.'

'You're so fucking annoying.'

'Ditto.'

The rest of the car ride was silent, except for Lucas' playlist that was playing in the background, and I hate to admit it, but we shared the exact same music taste. But I would never admit this aloud.

By the time we finally arrive at the hospital, the pain was being to become unbearable, I was slightly worried that I've broken my hand. I cry out as Lucas' slams on the breaks as he parks up. He glances over at me quickly before muttering something under his breath. I roll my eyes, as I unbuckle myself and get out of the car.

As we begin to walk towards the entrance, my pace gets slower and slower. I almost feel sick with the agony. The dark-haired boy next me looks at me with furrowed brows.

'You can use my arm to rest your hand if you need to keep it from being knocked or moved.'

I shake my head with gritted teeth, 'I'm fine. Plus, that probably wouldn't help.'

'Right, it doesn't surprise me that you'd be too proud for help.'

'I'm not to fucking proud, I'm in fucking pain and I don't want to be fucking touched.'

'That's why I offered, instead of doing it?'

'Just shut up!'