Our Strange Love

Part 7 - Chapter 31

Eran pulled his knees to his chest, exposing them to the steam floating above the bath water. The blanket of water sunk warmth deeper into his bones than the hot shower he'd taken right before did.

But maybe a hot soak wasn't such a good idea, Eran thought, feeling his cheeks flush. He never thought he'd go back on his conditions. Eran and Riley's roles seemed switched—Eran was acting like a testosterone-pumped teenager while Riley was acting like the elder trying to resist temptation. Something had happened since the time Eran made the first condition; what that something was, he didn't know.

What happened to me between then and now? Am I lustful because I love him? Or because I don't want to lose him? Is it because I find every move he makes attractive? Or is it because I want to claim those moves? In theory, Eran could easily hold back. It was just that every time Riley did something charming or sweet, Eran would immediately have the urge to touch him. Eran's confusion returned. His decision to permit touching each other's bare skin had been made that morning because... he wanted to be as close to Riley as possible. It had caused him nervousness all day. But when it actually happened, Riley had stopped them.

If Riley really loves me so much, then has he been holding back because of me? If I told him I was willing to go as far as we possible, would he hesitate at all? Eran stopped himself from fantasizing as he heard Riley knock on the bathroom door.

"Darling, did you fall asleep?"

'Darling?' "I'm getting out."

Once out of the bathroom Eran complained, "I'm cold."

Riley went to hug him but pulled back before they touched. "I'll be your blanket when I come out," he murmured, sliding a section of Eran's hair between his fingers before disappearing into the bathroom.

I really like him. But the truth is... I might want him more than I love him. And I might need him more than I want him. Does that make me a liar? Is it an acceptable reason to be lovers?

Eran wished there was someone he could ask all these questions to. It'd be too embarrassing to ask Bubba or Elias.

When Riley came out of the bathroom, Eran's thoughts were already starting to morph into dreams.

He felt Riley's voice low in his ear, "You're going to sleep on the sofa?"

"Oh, crap," he mumbled. Maybe he already had expected they would not have sex that night. It was probably too soon, and it was a school night. He remembered the copy of the apartment's key he'd gotten made then decided he'd give it to Riley the following morning.

Eran was groggily led by the hand into the bedroom. Riley pulled his body close and embraced him. When Eran pressed his cheek to Riley's chest, he could hear the young man's heartbeat and feel the warmth radiating from his body.

"Give me Jay's number. I should have it for emergencies or whatever." While it was true, Eran was more so thinking of asking Jay all the questions he had about Riley. He didn't have to worry about embarrassment in front of the younger man, and Jay knew Riley better than anyone else. Additionally, Jay was apparently well-versed in relationships—having gone through many girlfriends, and even though Eran and Riley were both guys, the basic ideas were the same.

Riley nodded. "Then, give me Elias's number."

"Okay." Eran wondered if Riley was asking just for the sake of asking, or if he actually thought Elias's number was useful.

They didn't move, silently agreeing to exchange phone numbers after waking.

Riley hummed beside Eran's ear, "I'm crazy about you."

"I know."

"One day, I'll show you just how crazy." His lips curved into a mischievous smirk.

Eran said nothing, but inside his head, he was blushing excitedly.

When he woke up, he found Riley's arm wrapped around him and his head still against Riley's chest. It had snowed again overnight. As Eran entered Jay as a contact into his phone, he received a reply from Elias: 'Sure. I doubt he'll contact me much anyway since he hates me.'

'He doesn't hate you,' Eran wished he could reply, but it'd have to be followed up with, 'He just doesn't trust you,' which actually didn't mean much of a difference.

Because of the snow, Eran told Riley he'd drive the teen to school. At the apartment's front door, they paused, both obviously wanting to kiss. So they did. Riley's lips felt so nice—he wanted to feel them all over his body. But that would have to wait, Eran thought, shaking off his desire. The kiss was cautiously short but satisfying.

When Eran pulled up to the front steps to the school, he and Riley noticed Jay and Tony arriving at the same time. Riley got out of the car without saying anything or even glancing at Eran. It made Eran feel a little lonely, though he understood Riley's actions; they were in public and had already kissed at home.

Eran watched as the two approached Riley and he noticed Tony's attention was focused elsewhere. He's glaring at me...

Riley turned and waved at Eran, then began to walk up the front steps with Jay, Tony lagging behind by a few steps. Eran realized that Riley had probably sugar-coated the truth about his confession to Tony.

Eran still sat in the parking lot as Riley climbed the stairs. Without thinking, he picked up his phone. He watched as Riley stopped, looked at his own phone, put it to his ear, and turned around in the direction of Eran.

"Hm?" Riley hummed curiously.

"I'll come pick you up this afternoon. So wait for me."

"Okay."

"Text me or call me if you decide to hang out with your friends," Eran added, glancing at Jay who'd also stopped and was watching Riley.

"Okay."

"Have—" a nice day, Eran felt too awkward to finish. He stayed silent as he tried to think of a suitable way to hang up. "Bye," he blurted simply, and then ended the call. He dropped his forehead on the steering wheel. My cheeks are going to end up being permanently red.