Our Strange Love

Chapter 48*

On the morning of his birthday, even after Riley got up, Eran stayed in bed and pretended to be sleeping. I know it's stupid that I'm sulking like this, but getting older really makes me feel depressed.

He felt the bed shift as Riley sat down. "Do you want to have sex?"

Eran peeked out from under the covers and stared at Riley. "What?"

"I figured that was why you're still in bed."

Eran sighed and pulled the covers back over his head. "Yeah. Let's just stay in bed all day," he said in monotone. He felt the weight of Riley's body on top of him.

"Okay, but the egg is going to go to waste."

"Egg..." he muttered. Riley's omelet was really good. Though everything Riley made tasted good, he could probably live on that dish alone. He sat up and Riley sat up with him. Riley's smile was kind and contained no hint of its usual mischief. It somehow felt assuring, but worried Eran at the same time.

After breakfast, Eran sat at the table, staring at the place where his plate had been.

"What now?" Riley asked.

"Let's go look at some bacteria."

There was a long silence from Riley. 

Eran stood up. "It's the weekend, but I have a key to the lab. There's some bacteria I want to look at."

It was evident that Riley had no comprehension of what Eran was doing, which was justified since Eran had no clue what he was doing either. But Riley silently followed along.

Somehow they ended up in a swampy field collecting samples.

"This is so strange," Riley finally blurted. "But if it's fun for you, I can understand."

"Fun?" Eran seemed to think. He suddenly realized, what the hell was he making Riley do? And why was Riley just complying? He stood up. "Let's go home."

"Eran."

"Hm?"

Riley walked over to Eran, trying not to splatter too much mud with his galoshes, and looked Eran in the eye. "Please calm down."

Eran stared at Riley. Why is he telling me to calm down? I'm not yelling or anything.

"Is there something you didn't tell me? About your birthday?"

"Eh?"

"Something from the past..."

Eran thought. What have I done these years for my birthday? He couldn't remember anything. The last time he celebrated his birthday was... in high school. He'd gone to school, came home, eaten dinner, then eaten cake with his parents. They'd probably talked about his future. Ah, where was Jamee? Eran shook his head. No way. It's not like something so cliché... Eran's immediate reaction was to stop thinking and push everything back into the recesses of his mind. But Riley was here now, so it wasn't as scary to keep remembering. Ah, that's right. Jamee was there. He didn't say anything. The four of us were so awkward with one another. The birthday after he died, I was already in uni. I didn't do anything. "I don't know how to have a proper birthday," he whispered to Riley.

"Didn't you plan mine?"

"Yeah, but..."

"I guess it's easier to do it for someone else than to imagine it for yourself."

Riley was right.

"Maybe I should have planned something."

"No, I told you not to."

They stood there silently for a long time.

"I'm glad you've lived for 25 years. If it'd been any less, I wouldn't have been able to love you. I mean... it would have been impossible..."

Eran nodded and took Riley's hand, though they were both wearing rubber gloves, making their fingers meet awkwardly. "I thought... the fact that I'm getting another year older means I am getting another year further from you."

"It's impossible. Our age gap doesn't change no matter how many birthdays we've had."

"When I was 18, you were 12."

"When I'm 40, you'll be 46."

"When I'm 60..."

"I'll be 54."

Eran nodded and rested his forehead on Riley's chest.

"When I'm 40, I'll love you. When I'm 54, I'll love you. I'll love you when I'm 70."

"When you're 70, I might be dead."

"Don't say something so depressing. Besides," Riley wrapped his arms around Eran, "people are living longer than ever these days. By the time we're that age, we'll look back and laugh at the 19-year-old Riley and 25-year-old Eran who were hopelessly concerned about their ages."

"I can't believe I brought you to a field to collect protist."

Riley chuckled. "It's okay. I love you for that."

Eran hugged Riley back. "Let's go home."

Riley washed and blow dried Eran's hair. For dinner, he cooked the same stew he'd first cooked for Eran. Eran helped and this time didn't burn any vegetables. They made love, and from night to dawn, Eran was wrapped in Riley's arms.

A/N: Ignoring the whole argument part, whose birthday was better: Riley's or Eran's?