Unheard reasons

Chapter 18

Kashaf's pov

The sun poured through my window. Another day had dawned, bringing with it new hopes and aspirations. I prepared myself for the day and went downstairs for breakfast. Everyone were busy with some kind of arrangements.

"Assalamualaikum. What makes you all so energetic right in the morning?" I said laughing a bit.

"Walaikumsalam. May allah always keep you happy Kashfi. I feel charged seeing you cheery today. Mashallah." Humna bhabhi said hugging me and I ever so lightly nodded. She refers me just like Humza. Even if I want to forget everything he left his own imprint in Bhabhi.

"She'll be more happy after knowing who is coming today!" Mom exclaimed and I was jumbled.

"Why are you creating so much suspense just reveal it already!" I said impatiently. And I really hope that guest turns out to be my Humza. Please Allah please.

"Saleha aunty and her family will be landing in the evening." Kamil bhai said in a serious tone. Hearing it my least expectations drowned in the ocean of reality. Why do I even expect his return! Anyways I was kinda happy and excited to meet my overseas cousins. We haven't met for awhile now.

"Oh yeah nice." I replied.

"Barfi I have a surprise planned for you. It will be disclosed later." Mom said and all of us were clueless. Bhai and bhabhi didn't know either.

"That is fine. Barfi hurry up you'll be late for the class. I'll be waiting in the car." Bhai said.

"Ok Allah hafiz." I said stuffing the sandwich and running behind Bhai.

I was attending lectures after a gap. I was happy to be back to the university environment.

"Helloo Kashaf!!! Assalamualaikum." Zoya said immediately hugging me.

"Walaikumsalam. How have you been?" I asked hugging her back.

"I'm alright. Its feels so good to have you back at the uni. Missed you so much." Zoya said being the joyful person she was.

"Hey Kashaf!" Haris said standing behind Zoya. Seeing Humza's siblings ruins my healing process. I didn't say anything and slightly waved with a nod.

"How are you?" Haris asked.

"I'm fine." I said without looking at him.

"But he's not fine." Haris whisper said and I didn't respond.

"Selfish people lose peace." Zoya said.

"You're nobody to judge Humza bhai like that." Haris said and they both indulged into a heated argument.

"Guys stop fighting. You both have no role in our matters. Please stop with all these comparisons." I said irritated and left.

I reached home and saw everyone busy with preparations. I ran into my room and again my heart was into a million shattered pieces. I'm not mad at Humza, I'm hurt and there's a difference. I'm keeping my feelings to myself since nobody can understand me neither can I explain them. I just want a day where it feels like I'm not falling apart anymore. Is it alot to ask for? I crave for a single boy in this whole wide world. Is it alot to ask for? I feel like I'm waiting for something that would never happen. The feeling when you're alone and your thoughts wander, you're not crying but you feel empty and replaying all the moments and wondering where did it all go wrong. All of these connect only to you Humza. ITS ONLY YOU and no one else makes sense.

"Kashfi?" Humna Bhabhi knocked on the door.

"Yes bhabhi. Come in." I said plastering a smile on my face.