Till The End [Phan]

The Final Phan Song

I heard Dan and Phil shout my name. That probably should've been the last thing I heard... the strangled sobs of my parents. Not a great way to go out if you asked me. But it wasn't the last thing I heard. When I opened my eyes, I thought I was dead. I thought I was dead and just a ghost. But I looked down and I was most definitely still alive. But I'd heard the gunshot. I looked up at Dylan in confusion,
"There's more ways than one that a person can die. Would've thought you knew this by now." He looked at me with so much confidence, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Son of a bitch.

I turned around. It took a few seconds to realise what was happening. Everything seemed blurry and distort. I looked at Phil, kneeling on the ground, and my heart sank in my chest.
"Is... Phil, is he? He's still... oh my god." I whispered and fell to my knees next to Dan. He looked at me and held my hand,
"It's okay," he whispered, "it's going to be okay now." I knew he was terrified. I knew he was trying to hold it together, just for me. He wasn't strong. He didn't know what was going to happen. He was probably having an existential crisis as we spoke,
"Dad, please," I whispered, "don't let go. Just hold on, we can get you to a hospital, you'll be fine Dan, please." I sobbed desperately. Tears were falling down my face as I looked at the bullet wound that was pretty close to Dan's heart. I don't think it hit it directly, but it was close. I scrambled to get my phone out of my pocket, but Dan grabbed my wrist. He still had quite a lot of strength, given the situation,
"No," he told me, "it's too late now. I want to be here. With you and Phil. I want to do this our way." I shook my head at him,
"It's not too late," I choked out, "we can fix this. You've always said we can fix it." I was sniffing and tears were falling fast. All the while, Dylan was leaning against the wall again. Just watching.
"You have to make a mess before you can clean up." He whispered and shut his eyes for a second.
"Dan!" I shouted and squeezed his hand,
"I'm here," he whispered, "Phil. Look after her for me, please? Make sure she's alright." Phil kissed Dan softly for a second,
"Don't say it like you're not coming back," he whispered, "you're going to come back to me, Dan. Come back home with me." Dan smiled,
"Maybe we'll see each other again. But not soon, Phil. Promise me that. Don't leave Jay behind, alright?" Phil looked reluctant to nod.
"I don't want you to go..." he whispered, "I had life stuff planned." Phil reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a little box. I didn't think Dan could see it.
"You can do life things without me Phil," he smiled through tears,
"Not this life stuff," Phil whispered and opened the box, tilting it to Dan who gasped slightly. Phil and I both choked at the same time.
"Marry me?" He whispered. Dan smiled as best he could.
"If I could, I would've married you, Phil. You know that. I would've held you at night, like always. I love y-" Dan coughed a bit, and then spluttered. I watched the panic in his eyes as he found it hard to breathe. And I wiped his mouth of the blood he'd coughed up.
"I love you, too." Phil whispered.
"Dan," I breathed, "I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know where you're going. But I know that I will always love you. And I know that you'll protect us. But you could still try and hold on. We could still call an ambulance. They could save you. I fucked up, I'm sorry. I fucked up and you're paying the price... I'm sorry." Dan squeezed my hand,
"It is not your fault, Jay. You did everything you could to save us." He was resting his head on Phil's knees now, the ground was hard and uncomfortable. I wished I could've gone and changed everything. But I couldn't, and I suppose maybe that's the cold reality of... well, reality.

"I can't, I don't know what to do..." I whispered. Dan was quiet for a moment, which originally made me worry. But then I heard his soft voice, really quiet and scared, but it was there,
"So long to all my friends," he smiled at me and a tear dropped, "every one of them, met tragic ends." He continued to sing. Eventually I did, too, and Phil hummed because he was crying too much. I'm not saying we performed a duet here, I'm saying we distracted ourselves for maybe three minutes or so.
"I would sing you to sleep. Never let them take the light behind your eyes," I watched Dan for as long as I could. I barely blinked. I watched as he smiled at Phil. I watched as Phil fumbled to get the ring on Dan's finger and I watched when he placed his lips upon Phil's as best he could. I watched. I watched for maybe another two minutes. His voice was slowly getting quieter,
"I'll fail and lose this fight, never fade in the dark, just remember you will always burn as..."
"Bright." I finished, while holding back a sob. That was when I looked down at Dan again. I didn't remember closing my eyes. I wished I'd kept them open. To this day, I still wished I'd seen him go. Phil let out a sob and I did, too.
"Is he gone?" I whispered as Phil checked for a pulse on Dan's wrist, and I remembered how he didn't like having his neck touched. He didn't move his hand for a while, he looked at me and nodded slowly. Phil kissed Dan's forehead and closed his eyes,
"I love you, bear." He whispered.