Till The End [Phan]

Fun Fact: Big Dick Doesn't Count If You Are One!

The care home wasn't half bad. Me and Jess got on well, she was distant sometimes but I didn't mind because I was too.

I stayed in contact with mum, that was the nice thing to do. She was nicer to me because we spoke less and she wasn't always drunk. I told her that I'd been talking to Dan but I think she was less excited than me because she didn't know who he was. Jess always left the room when I talked to my mum. I said she could stay but she always made some kind of excuse to leave, so I let her. Mum never rang me, I always had to ring her. She did text sometimes though.

I'd been in the care home a week and nobody had come in to see the kids there yet. I'd settled in well and I wasn't nervous about the people anymore. The only time I got slightly nervous was when I thought of being fostered, that could be scary.

"Jess," I started, "is being fostered scary?" She looked up from her book and smiled slightly,
"Dunno," she said, "never been fostered before. I lived with my mum and dad but they took me away because they wouldn't look after me properly. I don't think it's scary though, loads of people get fostered. The first few interviews are a bit intimidating but I reckon it's fine after a while." She returned to her book. I nodded and decided to email Dan about it.

To: danisnotonfire@hotmail.com
From: jayyoutuber@yahoo.com
RE: you okay?
Message:
Hey Dan,
Hope you and Phil are okay. I had a thought, and it made me kind of nervous. So, I'm in a care home, but what if nobody likes me and I don't get fostered? I'll just be here until I'm like eighteen. It sounds a little silly but it genuinely worries me... what do you think? Have a nice day Dan.
Love, Jay xx

I thought Dan would be able to make it better, he'd always made me feel happy. Even before he subscribed to my YouTube channel. His videos with Phil always made me laugh and they could lift a giant weight off my shoulders and make me feel like an actual teenager. I trusted Dan and Phil. I always had, from the first video I'd watched. I trusted them.

I was pulled back to reality by Jess.
"Hey Jay? I was gonna see if I could go to Starbucks or something... but I don't like going out on my own. Would you come with me?" She asked. I was slightly shocked to be honest. Jess and I got on really well, but we usually only hung out in our room because of how antisocial we were.
"Yeah, yeah sure I'll come. I love Starbucks." I smiled and pulled on my converse that I'd kicked off by my bed and put on my Fall Out Boy hoodie. Jess smiled.
"What?" I asked, I didn't see what was funny.
"Your jeans." She laughed a little,
"What's wrong with them?" Seriously. I always wore my jeans like this.
"They're so low at the back, Jay; you look like a boy." I rolled my eyes at her.
"That was totally the look I was going for today, Jess." I smiled as I picked up my Sleeping With Sirens bag and left our room with Jess following behind me.

Sarah was surprised to see us past the common room and actually expressing an interest in leaving the building.
"Where are you two off to?" She asked almost skeptically. Jess went all shy as if she'd done something wrong, leaving me to do the talking.
"Starbucks," I said, "is that cool?" Sarah nodded and said to be back by three. I checked my watch, it was half past one. That was enough time to get Starbucks and probably browse Blue Banana for a new hat.

Jess and I got a bus to the nearest Starbucks. We could've walked, but I really couldn't be bothered.
"Ugh, I wish I hadn't suggested this now." Jess muttered as some boys slightly older than us got on the bus. I frowned,
"Why? What's up?" She looked at me. Maybe she'd meant to say it in her head.
"I just... I don't like public places. And I really don't like boys. People are kind of scary a lot of the time." She pulled her knees up to her chest in an attempt to hide from everyone.
"That's okay," I said, "people can be scary. But you've got me- I'm a girl with short hair that wears jeans like a boy. Nobody's gonna mess with you, Jess." I smiled and she smiled back.