Till The End [Phan]

Honey, This Doorway Isn't Big Enough For The Two Of Us

I agreed to see Dylan and my mum the next weekend. I was dreading it, and I felt bad for lying about why I was going. There was still nothing I could do. I'd just have to get it over with. It would be fine in the end.

"Dan, honestly, I can go by myself," I said as nonchalantly as I could. Dan was insisting on dropping me off at my mum's. If Dan came with me, Dylan would see him and know who he was. I couldn't risk him seeing who his potential target was.
"I don't want you to go the other side of London on your own, I'll just drop you off." He shrugged casually with the spatula he was washing up in his hand. It didn't seem like Dan was going to let up on the subject. Maybe Dylan just wouldn't be there. I'd have to just hope against all hopes that he wouldn't be. Dyl used to used to go out all the time anyway, leaving me and mum on our own. Besides, he wouldn't risk being there if there was a possibility that Dan or Phil would see him.
"Okay, fine. Just drop me off." I reluctantly agreed.

Packing wasn't hard, but since I'd moved in with Dan and Phil, I'd got more stuff- mainly video recording things and cameras. I wondered for a short while about doing a video at my mum's, but quickly decided against it in case Dylan walked in. He tended not to knock- ever.

"Ready?" Phil called through from the living room. I could tell which room voices were coming from now. I knew whose footsteps were pacing the Existential Crisis Hallway in the middle of the night, I knew who'd got up to use the bathroom. It was easy after a while, you just knew. Or I did anyway.
"Um, nearly..." I called back. I was ready. I'd been ready for at least twenty minutes. I just really didn't want to go. It's understandable really, I mean, would you want to go back there?

I didn't think so.

"Jay? C'mon, what are you even doing?" Phil had given up on calling me and it was Dan who was banging on my door this time. I sighed and hauled myself off the bed and to the front door where Dan was waiting for me. I hugged Phil goodbye before Dan and I walked to the tube station.

"You okay?" Dan asked as we stood next to the door on the now moving tube. I hadn't really spoken much. I was thinking about going back there. It's not like it would be enjoyable. I wasn't going because I wanted to. I was going because I wanted to protect the people I loved. Dan showing up there in plain sight of Dylan wasn't exactly helping me, although I knew he was trying to. I put on a brave face, for his sake,
"I'm fine," I smiled somewhat convincingly, "I'm just nervous about seeing mum again. It's been ages... I'm fine though." Dan nodded and put an arm around my shoulder as if he understood.

I always found it quite funny when Dan and I were on our own in public. The people that didn't know who Dan and Phil were often thought I was his girlfriend. Probably because I was quite tall and the odds of Dan having a fifteen year old kid were pretty low considering he was only twenty three. Y'know, because sexually active eight year olds are pretty rare. It was just funny, the smiles we got from people when Dan held my hand or put an arm around me. Though holding my hand was quite rare unless we were in a hurry and I was dragging him.

We arrived at my mum's house at half past nine at night. I'd arranged to stay from Friday until Sunday afternoon. Well, Dylan said I had to. I would've just gone for the day but he wasn't having any of it. It was best to just agree with Dylan. If he was wrong, you kept your mouth shut. If he was right... he wasn't really right about anything. He was pretty thick, despite what he might say.

"Dan, y'know you don't actually have to meet my mum. You can go home, it's getting late and Phil might get worried." I just didn't want him to see Dylan if he was there. Of course, Dan being as sweet and polite as he was, wanted to introduce himself to mum which was definitely a bad idea considering she'd probably be passed out on the sofa or doing Dylan. I'd been hoping all the way from South London that he wouldn't be there. But nothing would ever go my way now, would it? Not when it came to Dylan anyway.