Start Again

Part 7

Lindsey sat at the kitchen table, shoveling breakfast into his mouth, stopping only for a sip of coffee. Kristen stood not too far away, arms folded over her chest as she stared at him. As far as she knew, they had no plans. Feeling his wife's icy glare, Lindsey tilted his eyes up, expecting her to say something.

"Why are you in such a rush?" Kristen forced herself to ask. 

"Oh, uh-" Lindsey put his fork down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, which he knew, she didn't like. "I'm going to Stevie's soon."

"Excuse me? Why don't I know anything about this?" Kristen frowned, uncrossing her arms, her hands now on her hips. 

"Why would you have to?" Lindsey cocked his head back and finished his coffee. "It doesn't concern you."

"You know, I really don't like you spending time with her." Kristen shook her head, making some distance between them as she carried his empty plate away. 

"And I hate it, when you tell me, who I can and cannot hang out with." Lindsey pushed his chair back to stand up. "Before you start accusing me, I'm going to see Stevie because we're planning Luke's birthday party."

Kristen swiftly spun around, her eyes narrowed at him. "You never show any interest in planning parties for our children."

"That's because you don't let me!" Lindsey yelled out, throwing his arms up in the air. "Christ, Kristen. This is not some kind of a competition." He shook his head.

"Oh, isn't it?" She cocked her head to one side, arms crossed again. "Seems like she's throwing crumbs at you just so you don't forget they exist, just so you're unable to be with your family."

She was pushing it and Lindsey felt anger rise within him. "Throwing crumbs? They? Do you hear yourself? You're talking about my firstborn child and his mother." Lindsey emphasized, knowing, how Kristen absolutely detested being reminded of that. "You knew, what you were singing up for. I told you, how things were going to be. I gave you a choice."

"A choice?" Kristen scoffed. "If I'd agreed to accepting child support so you could play house with her, your other kids wouldn't even recognize your face!"

"Enough!" Lindsey shouted loudly, making her flinch. "I love my children and I do my absolute best to show them that I do. You cannot and will not take that away from me. If being married to me is so unbearable, you can still make that choice." Lindsey said, pointing a finger at his wife before he turned around and walked out of the house.

In his car, Lindsey sat in the driver's seat, breathing heavily, gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. All those years ago, back in the late 1997, when Stevie pushed him out of her life, Lindsey settled for second best. He didn't have to, no one forced him to get together with Kristen after the short break, during which he believed, his dreams were actually finally coming through with Stevie. Certainly no one dragged him down the aisle to marry Kristen either. Or have more kids. He genuinely thought that eventually he'd grow to love her and he did in some ways. He loved her for giving him children, but he'd failed to fall in love with her. What were they staying together for? Lots of divorced parents managed raising kids together. He and Stevie were doing a good enough job. Whoa, divorce? Lindsey shook himself mentally and turned the key in the ignition.