Start Again

Part 21

Luke had exhausted himself during the day while playing with his friends and opening a mountain of gifts. Stevie was afraid, he was going to be unable to close his eyes at all given the amount of sugar he consumed, but he was out like a light as soon as his head hit the pillow. She was extremely happy that her son had exactly the kind of birthday he wanted, though, she was quite tired herself by the time everyone was gone. Except for Lindsey.

They stay together for a bit, talking and sharing a bottle of wine. Lindsey asked if he didn't cause too much trouble by accepting her invitation to stay the night, she lied and said, no. Eliot's reaction was unexpected, but at the same time it was. He was allowed to question her, he had every right to ask questions, but she hadn't seen him so angry before. He didn't really let her explain, he just yelled and ran out of the house. No, actually, he said something about her not seeing whatever it was he thought was going on. Between who? Her and Lindsey? There was nothing going on, not for many years now. 

Lindsey. Stevie felt for him. He had a family, he'd created a life with someone and it was slowly slipping through his fingers. Of course, she cared for him deeply. She hated seeing him upset and hurting. She was just being friendly, right?

Breathing out heavily, Stevie closed her journal and took off her reading glasses, she put them away and on her nightstand. She was about to turn off the light, but she heard footsteps, which she wasn't used to.

"Lindsey?" Stevie asked and the footsteps stopped. "Lindsey, is that you?"

"Yeah." He replied from the other side of the door. 

Stevie didn't say anything and Lindsey was still standing outside her door. A second later, he knocked, asking if he could come in.

"I'm not used to having someone in the house. Well, besides Luke of course." Stevie smiled sheepishly, her back against the headboard, covers pulled up over her chest. 

"Oh." Lindsey replied, unsure of what else to say. 

"Can't sleep?" 

Lindsey shrugged then nodded his head. "Yeah, I was going downstairs for a glass of water. You?"

"I was journaling. It's been a long day."

"Right." Lindsey nodded again, shifting his gaze, otherwise he would be unable not to stare at her.

"Are you okay?" Stevie asked, her eyebrows slightly creased. 

"Um, yeah." Lindsey said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Would you like to..." She shrugged. "Maybe join me?" 

That he definitely didn't expect as he looked up, wondering if she was testing him in some way. "J-join you?"

"You're tired, I'm tired. We can't sleep." Stevie patted the other side of the bed. "We could always fall asleep together."

Don't do it, do not fucking do it, Lindsey told himself. Yet, he slowly made his way to towards the bed and climbed in. The gap between them painfully obvious.

"Is this considered to be okay?" He showed between them. "Given the fact that neither of us is single."

"We've always been different." Stevie said and turned the other way to turn the bedside lamp off.

They lay together in silence and complete darkness. Both were still very much awake with a lot going through their minds. It was not meant to be intimate in any way, Stevie didn't have some ulterior motive. Lindsey kept his hands clasped together, afraid that he might try and touch her. Whatever he'd been telling himself lately, that he had no romantic feelings for her, that he wasn't slowly falling in love with her again, now he knew, he was wrong. He cursed himself for getting out of bed earlier. If he had stayed in the guest room, she wouldn't have asked him to come into her bedroom.

"Goodnight." Stevie spoke up after some time, either letting him know that she was going to sleep or that she was still wide awake. 

"Goodnight." Lindsey responded. 

She was the only one, who moved, as she turned on her side, her back now facing him. Don't even think about it, Lindsey sighed, turning his head towards her. Would it be so bad? She said it herself, they were always able to fall asleep together and when they slept together, they were never this far away from each other.

Fuck it, Lindsey thought. He moved closer, his head now on her pillow and his arm draped around her waist. She didn't immediately push him away. Instead, she rolled onto her back and he could feel her eyes on him, even though he couldn't see.

"What are you doing?" Stevie asked, her voice soft and much quieter now. 

"What are you doing?" Lindsey responded with the same question, his heartbeat picked up pace. 

"I, umm... I might be thinking about... kissing... you?" 

"That would be wrong, no?" WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 

"You-you don't want to?"

He failed to say, no, and shortly felt her hand cup his cheek, she then placed it on the back of his head and pulled him down...