Start Again

Part 15

January 12, 1998

~

Induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was considered to be one of the highest honors for an artist and if it had happened a year ago, Stevie would have been a lot more excited. It wasn't the idea of performing while being five months pregnant. It was being forced to smile and pretend like everything was fine while Lindsey had his arm around her or took her hand in his. She had dreaded this day for weeks and there was no way for her to escape it.

The instant anger and disgust Stevie felt slowly faded away, but she was still hurt by Lindsey. She told him that about a month ago, when he came to check on her and he cried. She didn't feel much sympathy for him. She didn't allow herself to be sad often, though. Instead, she focused on becoming a mother in only a few short months. There was still so much to do and so many baby books to read, which occupied the majority of her time these days. As promised, Stevie didn't cut Lindsey out completely, but she definitely let him know where he stood with her. It was easier dealing with him in the safety of her home, she was anxious about doing it in public.

"The little one isn't even here yet and he's getting inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame already!" Mick grinned at Stevie widely, when she arrived with her assistant. "You look wonderful, sweetheart." He said, wrapping his arms around her. 

"That's a lie, but thank you." Stevie smiled, patting him on the back.

Then Christine and John came to say, hello, however Lindsey was nowhere to be seen. Stevie wanted to ask, but she kept it to herself. She didn't have time to stand around and wonder about his whereabout as she was taken to get her hair and makeup done. The woman, who took care of both, kept Stevie's mind busy with mindless chatter and silly jokes and she was truly grateful for that.

"Thought you weren't going to show up!"

Stevie heard Mick's voice on the other side of the closed door of her dressing room. She stopped breathing for a moment as if that could have helped her hear them talking better as their voices soon became quieter until they were just noise, seemingly farther away. 

"You're all done!" 

Stevie lifted her eyes up to stare at her own reflection in the mirror. Maybe Mick wasn't a complete liar. From the neck up she looked pretty damn good for her age and being pregnant at her age. It meant that she had to get up from the chair and leave. Leave and see Lindsey.

"Ah, there she is." Christine's smile seemed too wide and unnatural, when Stevie walked into the room, where the rest of the band was. 

She didn't immediately notice the presence of someone she hadn't expected to be there. "You sound excited to see me." Stevie laughed lightly, she caught Lindsey coming her way from the corner of her eye.

Christine sighed, when Lindsey gave her a pointed look as if saying, move. "Hey."

"Hello." Stevie replied. One could have thought they were meeting for the first time. 

She had no intention to stick around for a chat. Stevie turned to walk away, but Lindsey reached for her hand and she looked back at him, this time seeing more than she wanted to. He realized that she'd finally seen Kristen in the room and his stomach dropped.

"Stevie, wait!" Lindsey yelled after her, when she pulled her hand from his touch.

"I have nothing to say to you." Stevie shook her head, moving as fast as she could towards her dressing room, highly doubtful that she would be able to lock herself in there before he could catch up with her.

"Please, let me explain." Lindsey begged, already right behind her. "It's not what it looks like!"

"Oh, isn't it?" Stevie stopped abruptly, causing him to nearly collide with her. "Congratulations, I'm happy for you." She didn't sound happy at all. 

"We're not- we're just-"

"What?" Stevie crossed her arms over her chest, staring at him. "You can do whatever the hell you want, you're a free man. Well, I guess, not anymore."

"I'm not even sure what we are yet." Lindsey shrugged, but Stevie didn't believe him.

"Oh, for God's sake, Lindsey." Stevie sighed heavily. "I just wish you'd told me so I could have prepared myself to face the fact that the father of my child is in a relationship with the woman he'd claimed not to have any feelings for."

"But I don't!"

"Yes, you do!" Stevie shouted, holding back tears. "Admit it. We're not together, you don't have to lie to me anymore."

His heart sank and he felt like a complete asshole yet again. "Stevie..."

"Save it." She held up a hand, shaking her head before she turned around and soon slammed the door of her dressing room with as much strength as she had left in her.