Start Again

Part 29

Stevie stopped counting her drinks after Lindsey had left. She was becoming drunk rather than tipsy much faster than anticipated and Eliot noticed. He managed to exchanged a glass of wine for water, but someone said, she should be allowed to enjoy her night, which was why Stevie reached for her wine again in no time. It did liven up the party, though. For a little while anyway, before Eliot suggested going home. It was rather late at that point anyway, so no one had any questions.

Eliot could tell that something was bothering Stevie. They drove to her place in the backseat of a hired car and she kept her distance. The whole drive was silent, Eliot didn't want to start a conversation with a stranger in the front. It was a good thing that Luke was at Lori's for the night, who was his godmother, because Eliot had a feeling that the talk they were going to have wasn't going to be pretty. 

"My feet are killing me!" Stevie groaned, kicking off her high heels. "Ah, much better." She said and went straight to the liquor cabinet. "Do you want anything?" 

"I want to talk." Eliot said, joining her. 

"Well, we can talk and have a drink." Stevie shrugged, looking through the selection.

"Don't you think, you've had enough?" Eliot asked and she faced him, frowning. "I'm only saying this because we both know, you're going to regret it in the morning."

"That's tomorrow's problem, isn't it?" Stevie picked up a bottle of whiskey and Eliot sighed, thinking that the last thing she should do, was start mixing alcohol. 

"Okay, I wasn't going to start as soon as we walked through the door, but what happened tonight?" Eliot watched as Stevie made herself comfortable on the couch and took a sip of her drink. "Everything was perfectly fine until you and Lindsey disappeared for like 20 minutes."

"Who says, I was with Lindsey?" She asked, doing nothing to convince him otherwise. 

"Stevie." Eliot gave her a pointed look. "I thought, we were done with this bullshit. I asked you to pick and you said, you picked me, so..."

"I did." Stevie nodded once. "And I was with you tonight, I still am with you, right?"

"Well, to be honest, it doesn't really feel like it." Eliot shrugged and slumped down beside her. "I've told you countless times before that there is no place for a third person in our relationship. Yes, I know, Lindsey is Luke's father and I'm fine with him coming over to spend time with his son, but- but not with you."

"I'm not interested in Lindsey." Stevie flat out lied. "I don't know, how to prove it to you."

"I don't really know either." Eliot breathed out heavily, leaning forward in his seat, head in his hands. "But you could at least stay with me through dinner if I'm the person you came with, not run out for half an hour with your ex to do God knows what."

"Oh, so now it's half an hour?" Stevie scoffed, knocking back her drink, she got up to pour some more. "What do you want from me, Eliot? We're a couple, you and I. I'm not hiding our relationship. My friends know we're together. What else am I supposed to do? Call my publicist to arrange an interview with the People magazine so everyone knows?"

He did his best to ignore her irritation. "Technically, we are." He nodded. "But all you ever say is that you like spending time with me. We go out or I come here, we have sex and I leave. Honestly, at this point in my life I need more. I- I don't feel like you're fully committed to me and that's why I keep assuming that there's something going on between you and Lindsey."

"More?" Stevie frowned, swirling a mouthful of whiskey around the bottom of the glass. "We've known each other for what, four months? I'm sorry, but I'm not about to say that I love you." The second those words left her mouth, she saw it on his face that they hurt him. "I'm sorry, that came out a bit harsh, but... seriously, Eliot, you can't say that you love me yet either."

"Well..." He shrugged weakly. "At least, I know, I'm getting there."

Suddenly, the fight Stevie had with Lindsey earlier that night came flooding back. The anger they felt towards each other, the shouting, the things they said and the overall baggage they carried... It should be so easy to not want that. It should be so easy to let herself fall in love with the man she was with right now. 

"I do value what you and I have. I believe that what we've started could become something serious." Stevie sounded much calmer as she approached Eliot and knelt in front of him. "I'm difficult, I know that. I'm sorry that I'm unable to give everything you want right now, but I don't want to just throw it all away either."

Eliot sighed heavily and lifted his head up. He looked at her for a moment then brought his hand up to cup her cheek. She took it as a good sign, at least until he pulled back.

"Answer me honestly." Eliot paused to clear his throat. "Since you and I have started dating, has anything, anything at all happened between you and him?"

Stevie gulped, she slowly shook her head. "No." She said, knowing that otherwise, Eliot would have upped and left her for good. She wasn't ready to let him go yet.