Beauty and the Beast Girl | Newjeans : Hanni x Haerin

Chapter 6 (To Love is To Forgive)

I couldn't feel anything anymore,
Not even the slightest thing...
I cried three days...regret for what i had done.
Awareness of my sin.
Repentance.

After my tears had dried up, i strangled myself wishing that i was dead.
*cough*
I couldn't forgive myself...

"What.....exactly have i been doing?
In the end, i wasn't good looking at all... Am i really....  As Ugly on the inside as i am on the outside?"

I cooled my head, and think of what i was going to do from now on.

"Hanni doesn't talk about it, but being blind has put her through countless troubles...

And I'm the origin of those!"

So everything up until now has been lies... I've been tricking her.

But even so, at that time Hanni seemed to glow when she responded.

"This time.........when we meet
I'll tell her everything!
After that, if she criticises me or if she kills me, i don't have the right to say anything!...... Rather, it might be good if she kills me. That alone is the only way i can repay her for her blindness.

No matter the path... I can't be with Hanni after this."

...

*tap tap*
Hanni came as promised, eyes wrapped with bandages....seems like the end has come after all.

"Haerin? What's wrong? Why are you covering my eyes?"

"Hanni"

"Hae?"

"Hanni... I... Uhmm.... Before you can see me, there is something i have to tell you...

-----SORRY

For lying to you up until now. That i travelled the world. That i am a traveller. They were all lies to feed my...

To feed an ugly monster's ego.
Because i wanted to stay with you, because i didn't want to be alone.
I....used your blindness....!

And Hanni....the reason why your eyes are like that.... Is also me!
To escape from my loneliness, to escape from the humans... I release my fire.

And stole your light.

It's not something that can be forgiven just by apologizing. You have every right to convect me.

My life!.... it's your's to do with as you please.... So..."

...

"I know!"

What is Hanni talking about? Why is she taking my hands off? Will she hate me?

" I knew from the start, Haerin"
*gasp* her eyes?

"Hanni? Your eyes?...."

"Haerin, from the start.... i was fine with having these.... eyes. I fully lost my vision when i was around 5.

However....everyone around me, including my family and the servants would help me.

I wasn't free but, i don't think i was unhappy. Still! I wanted to try something that i could do freely.

At first, it was things around me, then it was chores....it would take time but.... After many time, i would usually be able to do it.

If i worked hard, people around me would stop treating me specially.
The things i had to give up due to my blindness would also disappear.
Or so i thought-------"

[ -"I'll be giving out the arts and crafts homework now...
*tap tap*....."ahh! It seems to hard"
Please make a rose out of clay...
This is to feed your observation...
Hanni? You can.... it's fine if it takes time, just try to do as much as you can"

"Okay"

"Although I'd get injured, i took an actual rose and felt it time and time again until i was certain of the clay's shape.
I was a week late....but i submitted it.
I would always be dexterous  and the teacher praised me for it.

But----

Besides me, i hear whispers.... My clay accidentally fell down and broke...

My blindness, my arts and crafts achievements. The teacher's attitude.
Taking those into account, i can see why they were acting like that. But---"

[- "Is she really blind?"....."I bet she let her parents do it"...."shh! Don't talk too loud, she might hear us" "hahahahaa"....]

If i can't do it, I'm a bother. And even if i can and do it, this is what happens.

No matter how hard i tries, their pitying looks won't go away. Rather i just earn their enmity.

"Even though my eyes couldn't see, i still saw unnecessary stuff and it was unbearable... And as i spend my time in that manner, i heard about the doctor...

Then Haerin.... I met you.

Since i had time before the doctor came. I took a walk to the forest behind the mountain...

[ -*rustle rustle*....."hnm? Who might it be?"...."Who?"]

"And so the person said they were a traveller in a quivering voice filled with hope and guilt.... The feelings you put into those words, i somehow understood it. Until now, i was imagining my conversation partner's facial expression from their voice..."

[ -"This person is lying"....it seems hard on her. But she seems so happy..."Ahh! Perhaps, she just want to talk to me"....not worry or pity, she wants to be with me]

"That's why......so, that's why.....I....I like Haerin like this!.....If my eyes did get better. I wanted to properly see you form and gave you my reply...but---- the doctor said....as i feared, it seems they won't get better.

Even then Haerin! You shouldn't hate yourself like that"

"B...bu....but.... I'm a Monster!"

"....Yeah"

"I'm the Monster that struck you town!?"

"As expected, i couldn't see that far but...

"Then..... FORGIVING IS OBVIOUSLY..."

"But, Haerin. Without that, we wouldn't have met like this right?

It was then that i knew Hanni is different, she's willing to forgive me even after I've done horrible things to her.

"Thinking of it that way....i like Haerin"

"Bu...but... I'm a woman!"

"I knew that from the start too"

"I'm....an.....ugly monster"

"If you are really ugly, then other people won't fall for you Haerin"

"But!"

"Please....Forgive youself!...
Haerin....
If you can't forgive yourself no matter what, as a punishment, from now on...please stay with me."

IS THIS EVEN TRUE? AM I ONLY DREAMING? IF I DID, I NEVER WANT TO WAKE UP FROM THIS DREAM. I SWEAR ON MY LIFE TO PROTECT HANNI AT ALL COST, BY ALL MEANS.

My mind was going blank, i couldn't say a single word because of the big lump forming in my throat
*sniff sniff*

"Eh? Haerin, are you crying? What's wrong?"

"....is...it okay?....Me...*sniff*.....being together with Hanni"

"Yes ...of course....please don't cry"

I AM,
A MONSTER,
SCARY, UGLY,
BUT NOT ALONE ANYMORE.

Hanni leaned in kissing the crying Haerin, what more joy could it have been for the both of them. It seems as if everything turned out perfectly....
Or will it?...