COTE: The Unfamiliar Familiar World

Chapter 4: The Feeling of Defeat

I just felt like I have aged 10 years older within a span of this two hour bus ride. 

Great, Off to a great start... Judging how different these three people are, it's without a doubt that I'm going to face some serious road bumps.

What had caused me to think like this exactly? Well lets go back a bit earlier. The moment I stepped into the bus.

It was a cold spring morning. April had just arrived and I was sent off by my butler Matsuo. He had a smile that would warm the hearts of many people and I'd be lying if the sight of my butler smiling didn't cause me to smile internally as well.

"Kiyotaka-sama, keep in mind that whatever is ahead of you, do not falter, mmkay?" He said as he patted my shoulder. 

"Goodluck to you too, Matsuo... Give my regards to Eiichirou as well and tell him to ace his exams." 

"I will give him my regards, Kiyotaka-sama"

"Good, and please do keep yourself away from fire-" I suddenly said to which caused him confusion.

"What?"

"What??"

We stared at each other for the longest time.

Matsuo then lets out a chuckle and would then just place his hand upon my head. Ah so this is what it's like to be at the receiving end of a head pat. In my past life, I was the one who'd give such a thing to Kei. In retrospect, she seems to like such an action from me, specially after she tells me to praise her which in turn I would praise her, accompanying it with head pats.

"Whatever you say Kiyotaka-sama" He said with a warm smile.

Looking back at things now, it was rather unusual that Matsuo had not changed from that kind old man he once was.

I realize that now.

"A Possibility that their personalities are not the ones reversed but their fates..." I mused to myself.

Matsuo, who had committed suicide, now lives a normal and happy life, away from literal gaslighting... Matsuo's son, Eiichirou, who had gotten stuck to a dead end job, now excel at his dream school like he always wanted.

It's somewhat sad, thou. Should Eiichirou be sent to his dream school, Nanase wouldn't be able to go to ANHS. I let out a sigh.

Poor Hiyori.

Guess she'll just have to make due with me.

For context to this thought process, I had Nanase with me one time when we went to the library back in the third semester of our second year. It was by sheer coincidence that Hiyori was there as well. It was a nice coincidence too because Nanase had approached the shy bookworm with much enthusiasm when she found out that she was an avid book reader too.

It was at that moment, our small group was formed.

A far cry from my old group of friends.

I sit here now thinking...

What had happened to those I have left behind?

What will happen to Kei...

Then I felt this odd emotion within me stir up. This emotion was unnerving to say the least and whenever I think about it, it kind of makes me feel like I want to throw up.

I know what causes this. It is whenever I think about this one specific Question.

Would the Kei in this timeline be different?

The thought of Kei being different is just...

It doesn't sit well with me. Especially if I had come to love that very same person for who she is and what she had grown to.