Karuizawa Kei SS: Stare into the Unknown

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When I was a child, I loved the words of romance that I would hear from my loving mother's voice. She tells tales of love and happy endings where the princess witnesses the birth of true love after a life of simplicity. It always captures my heart, the moving words that keeps on causing my heart to leap in excitement as I read the words I love you upon the parchment paper that has a unique scent only found in new novels. I was a sucker for such stories. Stories that move my heart.

"Mama! will I be able to experience true love someday?"

I asked that question to my mother. One who smiled and gently caressed my head, showing me affection that a mother has for her child. It was a warm feeling that I knew I would never forget.

"One day, my child, you will be able to... Your heart, which will be locked with a key, would be opened in the future. Look forward, child, never look back or down."

Mother knew of what I was going through

Mother knew what was going on at school. Yet we could do nothing about it. There was no world at all where I wouldn't experience such a thing no matter what path I choose.

In this world, human beings are selfish individuals. Those whom they think are superior are the ones they despise. Out of the sheer need to gain the life they wished. I was loved, I was desired, I was sought after and in the height of it all, a few grew to hate me.

It matters not if I show them kindness, nor does it matter if I showed them humility.

As their greed fester into their hearts, one could only know how long it would be till they start getting ideas to turn their hatred into something much more destructive. Their hatred for me, and their desire to gain the eyes of all.

Then my chivalrous heart could only bare to watch as someone near and dear to me was then targeted by these individuals. My heart couldn't ignore this person, and so I stepped in to save them. But this action just gave them a reason to target me instead.

Everyone knows who I am yet no one knows what happened in one of the chapters in my life that led me to become me.

For what it's worth, ever since a specific incident occurred in my past, I had no desire to tie my hair back. No longer have I styled my hair in the way I had in my youth. That was the sign for my change, to discard the darkest moments of my life. 

Forever they will be embedded into my mind and heart.

No matter how hard I tried to change, no matter how hard I tried to run away from my past, It kept on coming to chase me. 

When all I wanted was a happy ending.

When one desires for something with all their heart, they would be desperate to chase after that, no matter the cost may be.

Was I desperate? Was I desperate to experience a new start in order to gain that happy ending? Had it pushed me to the point that I'll do whatever it takes in order to gain that ending?

Yes...

To finally lay the past to rest, I must show those around me. The Ideal me.

"Good day, I am Karuizawa Kei." 

The perfect example

"My interests are studying, and reading novels of the romantic genre-" 

The unique example

"-and sometimes the mystery genre. I also like to listen to classical music"

But also be down to earth

"-and at times the ones of latest trend." 

They are all looking at me, but that didn't matter.

As long as I build up my popularity, I would have enough deterrence to keep what had happened in the past from happening again. I will no longer be pushed to the edge ever again. Not in this school.

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