Chapter 17

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LISA

I was scared to death as she sat there on my bed. Who let her in anyway?

She answered my question before I could even begin to speak. "Your mother."

I put down my keys and took off my coat.

"And?" I asked when Jennie still hadn't opened her mouth. I didn't want to talk to her but I had to sooner or later anyway.

She pressed her lips together before tears ran down her cheeks. My inner self clapped and wanted to hand her an Oscar for the performance.

"I am sorry."

"Okay." I replied coolly. I didn't want to fall for it again. She'll block me out again anyway, won't let me get close to her and then go back to Joy. I didn't want to be fooled again.

I had no idea what she finds in me. I don't belong here and I don't live her lifestyle.

Silence reigned. I knew it hurt Jennie, but it felt good not to hear anything. It seemed like she wasn't even there when I sat down at my desk and started to do my homework.

But then I heard my covers rustle and she came over to me, put a CD case on my table and left.

I took the case and opened it. In her messy writing were written songs I've never heard in my life. But it is possible that this will change now.

I listened to them, from some My Chemical Romance Band to Halsey and The Beatles. The songs described all the situations so well that my whole body collapsed and I cried.

I cried bitterly about the shooting town, my shitty parents, my life and Jennie.

That night I listened to this CD over and over again until I memorized the lyrics and dried my tears.

-

"Oh, Lisa. What happened?" V's voice sounded sympathetic when he saw me. I forced a smile as he really tried his best to support me and he's one of the few here I even remotely like.

As always, I told him everything. He was like my best friend.

"Maybe I shouldn't have set you up with Zoey so soon." He sighed. Yes, Zoey confused me as well. Even though I knew she was going to work somewhere else after college, my heart wouldn't accept it.

"I mean, yeah, Jennie's an ass. But not a Nicki Minaj ass nor a Kim Kardashian ass."

"Aren't both done?" I asked him.

"That's not the point, Lisa. Sometimes you just have to settle for the ass and not spend your life looking for the perfect ass."

"Like yours?" I grinned. He hated his butt and would rather have Kim and Nicki's big one in one.

"You know I have complexes with mine." He pouted and promptly grabbed his butt.

I laughed and went to English class with him. There sat Jennie, her hands in her sweater pocket, her hood hanging low over her face. In general, she didn't look so good. But I didn't look any better either.

I sat down in the first row. Nayeon staggered past me, who said she was the bad bitch. Thankfully she doesn't talk to me anymore. She was mad because she likes Jennie and I got together with her. How can someone have such a bad character?

My teacher came in and started babbling about the fall dance. Yes, it was the evening again when the outsiders didn't dare to dance because the cool kids showed up with their friends. I already knew that I would never go there.

-

In the evening I was sitting in the living room watching TV when my mother came in excitedly. She whirled around like a frightened chicken, knocking over almost everything.

"Go get dressed, Lisa. We are invited to the neighbors!"

My heart stopped and I choked. Please not at her's.

"Do I have to go with you? I'm not feeling well and-"

"Were you not friends with the daughter? You're coming with us, no backtalks!" With that she looked at my stepfather for something to say. But he said the only right thing.

"She's not my daughter and she's old enough to decide where she goes." But my mother looked at him so angrily that he needed to insert a next sentence. "But it would be nice if you came with us."

I reluctantly stomped upstairs and changed into something chic. My brother came in in a shirt and brand new shoes and gave me an annoyed look. He didn't want to see my ex either, I could tell immediately by his look.

"I don't feel like going." He said and sat down on my bed.

"Neither I do feel like going, especially that I'm going to see Jennie." I sighed and tied my hair in a ponytail. After that we both went down to our parents.

"Do we have everything? Then let's go." She trilled happily. I rolled my eyes and followed them over to the house next door.

Jennie's mother opened the door and greeted us with a hug. Jennie came downstairs, in a skirt and a crop top. She seemed to ignore me, only greeted my mother and father.

We were seated and my mother started talking to Jennie's mother. Jennie and I sat across from each other. She picked at her food and didn't seem amused. I wasn't either. Not at all.

We were done eating when Jennie's mom said we could get upstairs. My mother agreed but I knew that they didn't want us here anymore. Now I also had to sit in her room with Jennie. Great.

I followed her upstairs and sat in front of her TV, which was still on but as always it was mute.

It was the most embarrassing situation ever. It couldn't have gotten any worse. The silence crushed me.

Jennie sighed and looked at me. Her eyes were glassy.

"Do you want to play playstation?" She forced a smile.

I nodded. "With pleasure."

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