Edge of Chaos | Dad's best friend | 20 Squad BOOK #1

Twenty-Five | Deacon

Six weeks later

"You don't love her, right?" Luca asks, standing next to me inside of the armory.

I finish counting the bullets and move on to the rifles, Volunteering to do inventory this week to keep my mind busy.

Luca stands on the other end of the table, watching me as if he thinks I'm going to break any second.

It's been six weeks since I've seen Mya or Hondo has spoken to me if it's not related to the operation we're working, and every day that passes feels like I'm losing more people that I love.

Hondo looks at me like he wants to murder me or like he won't have my back out on the field, but I know that even though I committed the worst form of betrayal that I could still trust my life with him. He doesn't talk to me unless it's work related and I'm beginning to think I lost my best friend for good.

I've called, texted and left messages for Mya but she hasn't return any of them. The only reason I know she's okay is because Street told me who heard from Chris who spoke to Nichelle that she's back in school finishing up her degree.

Was she back home? Was she living on campus?

Wherever she was, if she would call me right now I'd leave and bring her back and never let her go. For as long as she'd keep me, I would be hers.

"Deacon, you can't have a future with her." Luca adds, as if he could hear my thoughts.

Six weeks ago I would've agreed with him. I would've told him he was right.

People would talk. Hell, I'm sure I've heard a few people in the locker rooms talking. They make it seem dirty and taboo. Like I'm some hero for hooking up with a girl half my age and bonus points that the girl just happens to be our bosses daughter. They don't understand. No one does. Her friends on social media would laugh at her and people would assume she's some kind of sugar baby. No one would take us seriously. My daughters would probably resent me when they got older; me dating someone young enough to be their big sister.

But people would get over it.

They would see that it's real love.

I shake my head. "She's different."

Luca stacks the box of bullets back on the shelf before turning to me. "Nah man, she's young. Like you and I were once before we got old and had bills to pay and kids to take care of." He continues to look at me. "Look man, maybe you didn't handle the situation the right way, but I'm glad you got to live again after everything you've been through. But you know it's not always going to be like this. She's gonna wake up in ten years and go on Instagram and see one of her friends in Barcelona or some shit and look around at her life and see that's she's stuck with an old man and a house full of kids. You don't think she's going to resent you for stealing her best years?"

We finish up the rest of inventory in silence; Luca's words playing over and over in my head. Once inventory is over, Luca heads home and I start to head over to Annie's mom's house to pick up the girls. It's been hard transitioning them back to the way it was before; constant picks up and drop off and it's been hard on the girls dealing with Mya's absence. She said her goodbyes and promised that she would always be around if they needed her; that day she came over to finish pack the rest of her things all I could do was stare at her because the one thing I knew that would make her stay I wasn't ready to give it to her yet.

But she was ready.

Ready for us.

Ready for a life with my daughters.

And I pushed her away.

Before I stop to pick up the girls, I make one stop.

I can see Hondo's car in front of his house so I know he's home. I know for a fact that I'm the last person he wants to see, but I just needed to talk to him, apologize face to face and to see if there was any hope in saving our friendship.

I wait with my heart pounding against my chest for someone to answer the door. Moments later Nichelle stands in the doorway, a nervous smile on her lips.

"Hi Nichelle." I greet her, my hands stuffed inside of my pocket. I'm sure she's teaming with her husband and is disgusted with me. Not that I can blame her. They trusted me with their only child and I took advantage of her.

"Deacon, hi."

"I know I'm the last person you want to see and believe me, I completely understand, but I just need to speak to Hondo."

"Baby, whose at the door?" Hondo is heard saying from inside the house before appearing behind Nichelle. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"We need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you man." Hondo grits out.

"I'm sorry. I know that's a pathetic apology but you have to know I mean it. I never meant to hurt you, Nichelle or our friendship."

"I'm warning you Deac; get off my property." Hondo replies.

"I love her Hondo. I love her. I know how messed up that sounds but I do, I love her. It wasn't just physical between us."

"Don't you say another damn word about my daughter. You said your peace but that don't mean I gotta listen to it. Stay the hell away from my family Deacon. You understand me?" Hondo warns before he turns back and head inside the house. Nichelle gives me an apologetic smile before she shuts the door in my face.