Fanfics from Ao3 - Private

4 + 1 Times Jim Kirk x Spock - raspberrychocolate

Jim and Spock hadn't meant to keep it a secret.

They had had their wedding a year prior to the first five-year mission and when Jim had gotten the news that he would be the new captain of the Enterprise he had listed Spock as his spouse to make sure they would be on it together.

So, when they had entered the board of the USS Enterprise it hadn't occurred to them that people might not know.

Sure, they didn't run around telling everyone they met that they were married but to be fair, that wasn't a thing people did, right? They just introduced each other and acted all couple-y and people would see on their rings and their behaviour that they were together.

Of course, Jim introduced Spock as his first officer every time they came to new planets, not as his husband, but they were on duty and that was his job.

But they didn't hide their relationship. Jim smiled at Spock completely lovestruck all the time and Spock did that half-smile of his where only the edge of his mouth would quirk up but always with such warmth in his eyes that it was impossible to not notice how much he adored Jim.

Right?

It was two years into the mission when it first came up.

Jim was in the rec room chatting with Uhura and Sulu when they started talking about family. Sulu told them excitedly about his husband and showed them hundreds of photos of his little daughter that Ben had sent him, on his PADD.

Uhura and Jim both awwed at the pictures.

"She just turned four yesterday. I call home often, of course, but I still miss them. A lot.", Sulu said and sighed.

Jim looked at him from the side. He never had that problem. The stars had always been more his home, even just looking at them from afar as a kid. His family was important to him but he had always felt that he belonged somewhere else.

Bones was his only friend from the academy that he would have missed and he and Spock were both at his side.

Uhura nodded. "I miss my family too. My sisters and my parents. But it's different, obviously."

Sulu smiled. "It's okay. I mean I know that they're waiting for me and this is definitely worth it. You must know that too, captain."

They both looked at him. Jim realized that they were expecting him to tell them something about himself now. He almost never talked about his life, which made sense since he was the captain. But he also was a very private person, although Spock was even more so. They just liked keeping things to themselves.

"Oh well", he laughed awkwardly. "I mean there's not much for me back on earth."

Uhura and Sulu stared at him, disbelieving.

"Really, I don't miss it that much. My brother and I don't see each other that often anyway, what with him living on Deneva now", he shrugged.

They still didn't seem convinced.

Uhura was the one who finally spoke up. "But surely you miss your family. I mean, do you have kids?"

Jim laughed at that. "Stars, no. Maybe at some later point of life but now... no. I mean, we can't bring a child into space."

"Yeah, that's true.", Sulu said. "Sometimes I wish we could but that wouldn't be very responsible, would it?"

They laughed at that. But Uhura still seemed sceptical.