Love or War

Doubt-Yeji/Ryujin

The eclipse is happening in a few days and were still unsure of everything. We don't know what to do and we don't know what to expect. The other packs are being trained but we don't know if that's good enough.

Yuna is recovering well from the attack. Beomgyu is still trying to piece everything in his head. He's working hard to figure out what else we need to do to prepare ourselves.

I still feel bad for him though. With all of this happening, he still hasn't grieved from losing his dad and he's not resting well because he wants to bring Ryujin back. He's afraid with the damages Ryujin has done that the other packs won't be so forgiving if we do succeed in bringing her back.

I do find it odd that things have been quiet in the last few days. I expected the vampires to attack a few more packs before the eclipse.

Sarina has also been feeling sadder than usual too. Ever since I kicked out Ryujin, she's been feeling sad but lately it's different. It's more unbearable sadness and pain which scares me. It makes me wonder whats happening with Ryujin.

I think since we've met, even though we haven't marked each other, my wolf can sense a little bit if Ryujin's wolf is okay.

If I would have marked her then we can feel exactly what Ryujin's wolf is feeling and we would be able to communicate with them.

Beomgyu has also decided to let Karina go. I'm not a fan of the decision but he thought it's not fair to keep her locked up since she hasn't done anything wrong. She was abandoned by her clan and she's all alone now.

Karina did decide to stay with the pack though. Again, not a big fan of that decision but Beomgyu allowed her.

"Why do you hate me so much?" Karina suddenly sits next to me.

I'm currently sitting at the place where Ryujin and I spent most of our time to just talk. She liked it out here because it was peaceful. I can see now why she liked it so much. She was keeping so many things to herself and she was going through it all alone so this was the only time she could feel at peace.

"Is it because I kissed her?" She ask another question when I didn't answer her first.

"I told you she pushed me away and I didn't try again after that" she continues to speak.

"I'm not a fan of you because you have feelings for her but I don't think I hate you. I think I was taking out my anger on you because I'm jealous? I don't know. You spent a lot of time with Ryujin. You were there for her when I wasn't. You even tried to protect her against your own clan when I kicked her out. She's in this mess because of me. I understand why her wolf is mad at me and I feel so useless just sitting here" I finally say something to her.

"After being around your pack, I feel bad that I didn't stand up for Ryujin more back then. Don't be jealous because I wasn't much help. I tried my best to help her but there was a lot of times where I couldn't because I had to do everything in secret. Looking back, she was really mistreated. She was angry because she thought she was abandoned but she was more hurt than angry. She was also hopeful about her mate. Even though she kept saying that her mate would reject her because of the things she's done, deep down she was hopeful."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"She gave up on her family but she thought that once she finds her mate then things would be different? She really regretted killing those werewolves but even when she wanted to stop, San didn't let her."

"When the vampires come, would you join them again or will you stay with us?" I change the subject because talking about Ryujin hurts too much.

"There's no way I'm going back. They left me to die when they took Ryujin. They were expecting your kind to kill me. San and his family always made it seem like your kind was the worst kind to ever exist. They always told us how horrible you were and how you kill innocent vampires for fun. They even said how you kill humans that admires vampires."