Love or War

Irving-Ryujin

"I accept you as my mate."

She gives a small smile before she collapses to the ground. The burning feeling in my neck disappeared as soon as she licked it. She marked me.

My mate has finally accepted me and marked me but all I feel is pain and sadness. I should be happy. I should be in my mate's arms right now.

All I can think about is everything that's happened. All the lives I took. I even killed the only one that was there for me since the beginning. Karina's face takes over my thoughts and the guilt I feel is unimaginable at this point.

There's a sudden ringing in my ears and my head starts hurting. I get on my knees and I press my forehead on the ground while I squeeze the sides of my head to try to relieve whatever pressure it's feeling.

The mark in my neck starts twitching and my body is burning up.

'Irving, what's going on?' I ask but there's no answer.

I scream from the pain that I'm currently feeling all over my body. Eyes closed and gritted teeth, I force myself to stand up.

I realize that I'm in control of my body but I still can't do anything from all the pain I'm feeling. I've never been in this much pain before. I don't know what's happening to me.

Did San lose control again? Did Irving succeed? But he's not answering me and I don't sense that he's with me right now. Did I lose my wolf?

I then remember Yeji and what Irving did to her. She's on the ground still bleeding.

"Help!" I yell in hopes someone is nearby.

"Please help Yeji!" I add.

I go down next to Yeji and I put pressure on her stomach to stop her bleeding. Even though werewolves heal quickly, they can still die from bleeding out.

With every movement I make, the pain I feel worsens but I have to help Yeji first. I quickly take off her shirt and rip it to make a longer piece. I wrap it around her stomach to hopefully help with the bleeding.

I check her pulse and it's weak. I panic at the thought of losing her. After she kicked me out of the pack, I didn't have confidence that we would end up together but losing her because she didn't want me is completely different from losing her because of death.

I feel the bones in my hands start shifting. The cracking noises and the pain reminds me of the first time I shifted to my wolf.

'Irving, can you hear me?' I try to communicate with my wolf again but still no success.

I feel my spine start shifting now and the ringing in my ears disappears. The pain in my head is starting to go away then I feel myself lose control of my body again but not because of San. Its Irving. It feels like how it was when I shift to my wolf. I don't know what's going on but San is not controlling me right now.

'Ryujin, I'm sorry' Irving is back now.

We're in our wolf form and Irving is back but he doesn't feel the same. There's something different about his presence.

'Why weren't you answering me earlier?' I ask.

'I didn't hear you. I couldn't hear you or feel you. I was shouting for your name but you weren't answering' he states.

'How are you in control? What happened to San?' I ask.

He ignores me and he approaches Yeji's body. He lowers himself to rest his head on her stomach. He starts whimpering.