12 || Drowning Me

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I never wanted to let go of his hand because if I did, I think something would tear us apart, and I'd never get to hold someone so beautiful ever again. But something about holding onto Angel felt heavenly. The sun was setting, the lights were turning on, and the warm breeze was swaying through our souls. The fairy lights hanging along the walkway were nice.

I never want it to end.

"Just this way," He says, leading me toward the fountain. As we get closer to the fountain, I realize it's a marble statue of a woman from the Victorian Era, with her head up to the sky and an expression on her face that makes her look like she's admiring the sky. However, it is.

We both stop walking and stand there, staring at the fountain. The only sound that occupies the silence is the graceful noise of the water flowing through the fountain. I copy her and raise my head and look at the sky.

What did she admire so much about it?

"Life is always beautiful," Angel says so gently that I could fall asleep. Or cry. "That's why she keeps staring up and admiring the sky. Sunshine or rain."

I smile, almost laughing. "Didn't think you were the poetic type."

"I love beautiful things," He replies, his eyes shining with admiration. The sky isn't that beautiful. At least, I don't think. He might see something else in the sky. Poetic people are hard to reason with. I didn't find it beautiful. But it is peaceful.

All of a sudden, I hear young laughter. A couple of kids are running around with water guns, spraying each other. A girl immediately runs behind me as she hides from a boy who's trying to get her. My eyes widen as the boy points the water gun through my legs, getting ready to spray me with cold water.

I close my eyes when Angel, who still hasn't let go of my hand, pulls me away from the kids and straight into his chest. I hear more laughter and screams as the girl gets shot with water. "Codey! I'm gonna get you!" She shouts as she chases after him.

"I... didn't think kids came here," Angel whispers as I pull away from him immediately, letting go of his hand.

"Let's go now. It's getting too dark and cold." It wasn't getting cold. I just wanted to go home. I know I was saying I wanted to stay here forever a while ago, but the moment is over, and it's weird now. And dark.

"Oh, okay... sure, yeah, no problem."

"Thanks, sorry."

"Don't be, we're chill."

I smile subtly and notice his lips tilt barely, but he seems disappointed. I feel bad, but I think the only part I liked about this walk was holding his hand. And the fairy lights. It was aesthetically pleasing, but that's about it. On our way back, we don't hold hands. We walk in silence.

I realize this walk wasn't as nice as I expected. Except for the hand-holding part.

He doesn't talk much, and neither do I. The rest of the journey is made in silence. Not the beautiful silence. It's the type of silence that makes you want to tear your hair apart and scream. Of course, I don't do that.

Soon, Angel pulls into our street and stops in front of our house. "Thanks for today," I say quickly as a courtesy before hurrying out of the car. "See you sometime."

"Yeah, sure, see you," He nods his head awkwardly. I close the door and start walking to my house. I notice that he waits for me to go inside. I pretend I don't notice because it's awkward, and slip into my house, praying that he left.

What the fuck happened? He's been nothing but sweet all day, and I somehow have the audacity to pretend I don't see him waiting for me, and also make him bring me home earlier than planned. Funny. I peek back outside to see if he's left or not. He has.

And the empty, almost unsafe feeling returns back.

— — —

I thought I had successfully escaped my parents and the conversation, but I hadn't. They're now sitting on the couch, in front of them, staring at each other. If they kept staring at each for any longer, I would have thought they were conversing through telepathic means.

"So," My dad begins, then glances at my mom, practically begging her to carry on the rest of the conversation.

"We've been talking about this for a while. We even consulted with your therapist." Oh, her. "Your um... he's pleading not guilty. He's saying there was no camera evidence, and that you were the one trying to violently assault him because you didn't get the grade you wanted."

Someone's trying to drown me... I can't breathe.

"Witness.... Worry... Lawyer... School..."

I can't hear them. I can't focus on their faces. There's a sharp ringing in my ears as if someone dropped a million microphones at once and if the entire world is running its nails across a blackboard. I gasp for air, but I feel like only water is entering my lungs.

I scramble around my surroundings and stand up. Or at least try to. I don't know where I'm running to, but I don't want to listen to them. I don't want to hear them talk about how I'm probably going to lose because people would rather believe a forty-year-old man, than a fucked up teenage girl.

I shut the door of a random room I entered, and I lean against a counter, trying to catch my breath. I collapse on the floor and start sobbing. The cold floor makes it worse, but I can't seem to move away from it. I feel frozen in place.

With shaky hands, I bring out my phone and scroll through my contacts, trying to find his name. When I do, I text him.

Me:

9.46 pm - hey, r u free? 

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a/n- who do you think she texted? 

anyway, what did you think about angel this chapter? was madison being unfair to him? do you think she should have been better to him? 

also, I'm like hella stressed out with college and hella tired and sleepy so irregular updates are gonna be a thing. thanks for understanding <3 

thank you so much for reading! i love you so much!! <3

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