37 || Goodbye

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make sure you vote and comment! this chapter is in harley's pov!! yayy! my loveee. 
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Harley

I rang the doorbell. It's been almost two years since I've been here. I wanted to turn around and run back to my house. It's not like she'd miss me. I'm sure she has cameras everywhere.

Madison's trial was tomorrow evening. I just needed tonight. And I'd never have to see Clara again.

I was caught off guard when Clara opened the door. There was a smirk on her lips as she gestured for me to enter. I knew this house like I knew the back of my hand. I knew it more than my own place. "How have you been?" She asked, her voice sickeningly sweet.

"Better. Without you."

She smiles, rolling her eyes. "I'm sorry, Har. To hear that you were struggling so much because of me. I genuinely thought I was helping you. When your parents were barely there." Her voice is soothing. Smooth. A snake's slither. "I'm glad you're better." She takes my hand in hers, rubbing circles with her thumb.

As if everything was as it was. It took me a second before I started to believe that everything was as it was. But it's not. I took my hand away from her and started walking towards her office. I didn't feel awkward or that I needed to ask permission. I've been here a million times before. I hear high heels tapping viciously against the marble floor as she follows after me. I wondered what evidence she'd created out of thin air this time.

Pictures of that bastard bruised and wounded? A fake "drone" recording? Fake email exchanges between him and her, and her threatening to hurt him if he doesn't give a good grade? Maybe all of it. But if there was one thing I knew for sure, she kept all her files in her office here. And she was insanely organized, so I would be able to find it in a short amount of time. And if I delete it off her computer, too, it would be perfect.

I'd done it before. She lost the case. But then she kept me away from drugs for an entire week until I was on my knees begging. Don't think about drugs. I cleared my head. I need to tell her to freshen up. And during that time, I would have shredded and deleted everything.

When I reach her office, I stop by the door and turn around, facing her. "Go freshen up," I said. It came out naturally. I've done this a million times before. The only difference this time is that I wasn't doing it for drugs or for Clara. I was doing it for the girl I love.

Clara smiles, cupping my face with one hand. "After all, for how many days could we stay apart?" I couldn't bring myself to speak, so I nodded, keeping my eyes locked on hers. Being back in this place. With her. It was making me crave all sorts of things. After rehab, I avoided all sorts of places that could remind me of drugs, but here I was in front of the woman who got me addicted.

And I craved them again. It was making me sick. She leaned in to kiss me, but I turned my head, so she kissed me on my neck. "I'll see you in around twenty minutes," She says cheerfully, disappearing into her bathroom. I bet she doesn't have any cameras there. She can shower in peace, unlike me. Shivers ran down my spine as I wondered how many years the cameras had been in my bathroom.

I shake away my thoughts and enter the office and get to work. I first logged into the computer. Her password is the same as it has always been. I go through her files. There are several from her old cases. As I scroll through the folders, I see Madison Snow. I click on it and briefly examine all the files. I click the 'evidence' folder, select all of them and click delete. I go to the recycle bin and delete them from there as well. I could feel my hand trembling and my heart racing the entire time.

Once I get the paper version of the evidence and shred them, I return to the computer and log off. I do it as quickly as possible. My heart is almost in my mouth, and my palms are covered in sweat by the time I turn off the desktop. When I succeed, I quickly return from the computer and turn to a random bookshelf. I take out my phone and text Madison.

Me:

9:18 pm - good luck tomorrow.

I heard Clara's footsteps and hurriedly put my phone back into my pocket. I knew the rhythm of her footsteps from any distance. Destroying the evidence wasn't the difficult part. It was leaving this place tonight. I wipe my sweaty hands on my sweater and take a deep breath. Calm down. She can't notice anything suspicious until tomorrow. Until the trial, she can't notice shit.

She opens the office door, wearing nothing but lingerie. I wanted to run. I can't be sucked back into this again. And I know that if I spend more time here, with her... It's over for me. I'll be compelled to trust her again. I'll be compelled to get high again. I'll be compelled to wash away all the progress I've made these years and let everything go back to the way it was.

Because nothing has changed. My parents still neglect me. I'm still lonely. And Clara is still here, ready to take me back. But you're not ready to go back. You'll never be ready to go back. This isn't about your parents. This isn't about Clara. It's about you.

Clara saunters slowly toward me, hooking both her arms around my neck. She takes off my glasses. "You switched back to glasses?" She muses. "After all I did convince you to switch to contacts." My vision blurred with the absence of my glasses, but I could still see her disgusting way of looking at me.

"Clara..." I swallowed my words. I couldn't provoke her. Not right now. I just need to find the safest way to leave, tonight.

"Oh, look at you. Have you not been sleeping? You should rest, Har. I want you to stay healthy." She hadn't changed a bit. She always pretended to care so that she could keep me around forever.

"I know." I focus on my voice, hoping that it's steady. She pushes me against the bookshelf, pressing her leg between mine. The forever feeling of needing to please her threatens to come back. Or maybe it was already back. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. I felt her kiss my neck, biting and sucking on the skin for several seconds. My heart started to race again. Or maybe it never stopped racing.

Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Run.

It was hard to make a decision... when I just could stay. I could stay and go back to my old life. But you don't want to. Run. Harley. Run. I gripped her waist, debating whether to pull her in or push her away and run. "Sorry," I whispered. "I can't." She stopped for just long enough that I slipped away from her. I grabbed my phone and rushed out of her office.

"Har! What the hell?" She shouted after me.

My eyesight was nearly classified as blind without my glasses, but I didn't want to return and get them. I needed to return to my house and never see her again. When I'm outside, I squint my eyes. I can't see anything. It's dark and blurry.

"Har, wait." I slow down when I'm halfway across the street to listen to what she's saying. "Can you just tell me what's bothering you? We can talk this out. You can't run from everything."

I turn around to face her while taking steps back and away from her. "You have no idea what I've been through because of you."

"I apologized. How can you say that after all, I've done for you? I was the one there for you when no one else was."

I fought back angry tears that were threatening to escape. My vision was already blurry enough. "No. I never made friends because of you. I was lonely because I was with you. I didn't go through hell in rehab and therapy, only to return to you. This is our final goodbye."

"HARLEY!" She screamed. Before I knew what was going on, I didn't. I wasn't even sure what had happened. Only that one second, I felt my face hit the ground, and the next second, I felt nothing. 

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a/n: ahhhhh, harleyyyyyy. but like i said. i love trauma. i love fucking things up at the last moment. muahaha. 

anywayyyy, what do you think of clara? harley? 

what do u think is gonna happen to harley now? what will madison do? will she even find out?

anywayyyy, thank you sooooo much for reading! it means the world to me! i love youuu so so so much!! 

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