40 || Entire World

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make sure you vote and comment. i also am too lazy to run this through Grammarly right now, so u can just suck it up if you see a mistake. <3 thanks sm for reading! ilyyy!!!
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I took a rushed shower in the bathroom outside of the bedroom, while Angel took a shower in the other bathroom. We both got back into our clothes, and Angel started driving me to the hospital. On our way there, Angel didn't ask me to explain myself. We just drove silently. When we got to the hospital, I got a visitor pass and rushed to the ICU section, where I was met with his moms. And Clara. I can't believe she had the audacity to be here. I ignored her, and went straight to Harley's parents.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice wavering.

"He got into a car accident," Kristie explains. "Yesterday night. The doctor said he broke a few important bones, and has a moderate concussion."

"Is he going to be okay?"

Kristie nods, swallowing her tears. I was fighting tears myself. I was horrible to him too. I let him go to that monster's house because it would help me. I should have just sucked up the fact that Clara will win the case. Now Harley was hospitalized. I charge towards Clara, grabbing her by blouse collar. "What did you do to him?!"

Angel rushes closer to me, but doesn't make a move to stop me. He hates her too. "What did you do to him, you bitch?!" I'm too angry to tear up now. All I see is red.

She grabs my hands, and pushes me off of her. "I didn't do anything. He was crossing the street and got into an accident." Her voice is cold. I ball my hands into a fist, ready to take a swing at her. Before I have the privilege to, Angel's warm hands hold onto me, tugging my body backwards. "I care about Harley," She continued. Her despicable voice rings through my head. "I was the one who called 911. I warned him not to walk out onto the street. But he didn't listen to me. How is that my fault?"

I wanted to punch her. I wanted to knock her unconscious and drag her body over the Golden Gate bridge. I wanted to burn her at the stake. She didn't deserve humane treatment. I hated her with every fiber in my body, but I also hated myself. For letting Harley go to her. I used Harley for his body, because I couldn't keep myself in check. Even after finding out that my behavior with him was a trauma response, I still went to him. I still used him.

So I had no right to hate Clara, when I was just as despicable as her.

I stop fighting against Angel, and wrap my arms around him. He pats my back slowly, comforting me and my unshed tears. I don't even deserve to cry. "It's all my fault," I mumble into his chest.

"What's your fault?"

I realized that he had no idea what was going on. And I had to come clean to him. It was easier to do, because everything with Harley was before I started dating Angel. I never cheated. And he deserves to know. So I take him aside, and explain everything. I explained my relationship with Harley. I explained why he got into an accident. I explained that he loves me. I explained that I chose Angel over Harley, and will continue to do so forever. And I explained how that's tearing me apart.

And I explained how it's my fault that Harley is in the ICU.

When I'm done monologuing, I glance at Angel, who's silent.

"I know. I hate myself too."

"I don't hate you," He assures softly. "And this probably isn't the time, but I love you too. You're not responsible for his decisions. Or that he loves you. Don't beat yourself up over it. He'll be fine."

I felt assured, but I knew that Harley would never forgive me for this. He probably hates me now. And I deserved every ounce of his hate.

When I walked to the window of his room to see him, I was stuck in place. A soft gasp left my lips. The weight of my heart was too heavy. I couldn't move. I'm so sorry, Harley. You would have been so much better off without me in your life. I'm sorry I was ever a part of it.

The next few days, I kept visiting the hospital after school with Angel. Harley was barely awake. They said he slept more than he was awake. Dana said it was because of the painkillers he was on, and they'd reduce the intensity of them after a week so that he could stay awake longer. I could only imagine the pain he was in. The doctors said that we should be grateful that the car that hit him was a compact. Otherwise, it would have been much worse.

He could have died, or gone into a coma. The thought of that was enough to send chills through my entire body. The guilt would never leave me for as long as I live. The only way I can make up for it is by being there for him everyday.

By the end of the week, Harley was being moved to a regular hospital room. He was more awake and responsive, but his concussion would make him slightly sensitive to a lot of things. I did some research about concussions so that I can be aware of the symptoms.

It only made my guilt worse, but at least I was aware.

Kristie and Dana had to attend a business meeting, so they'd be here later tonight. There they go again, prioritizing work over their child. So it was just me and Angel visiting him this morning. I decided against flowers, because that's pathetic. A stupid attempt at apologizing to him.

I entered his hospital room. It was one of the larger and more luxurious ones, because that's his parents' way of sucking up to him. Providing him with all the material luxuries they could afford, because they can't be there for him.

I stood by the side of his bed, waiting for him to open his eyes. There was a large abrasion at the left side of his face. Most likely from the impact he had with the ground. But it was healing. Along with the rest of his body. His right arm and leg were in casts. I'm pretty sure he had broken ribs too from what the doctor had said.

He had a broken shoulder on his left side, and a broken ankle. His neck was supported by a brace. And he was connected to a bunch of IV's and other wires.

Slowly, he wakes up, and squints up at me. "Harley?" I say, as quietly as possible.

"Madison? Sorry, I can't really see you without my glasses."

"Harley... I'm so sorry. I... I shouldn't have let you go. It's all my fault and I can't even bring myself to face you but here I am, shamelessly standing in front of you. I hate myself for-"

"It's okay," He saved me the speech I had prepared.

"No it's not. Stop forgiving me."

"I'm serious. It's okay. Stop thinking that I did it all for you. I did it for me too. It was a selfish act. I didn't look where I was walking. Nothing was your fault. Now stop making me monologue. My head hurts."

"Do you want me to turn the lights off?"

"Give me my glasses. They're over on the stand thing." I quickly fumble over to grab his glasses. Since he can't really move his arm, I gently tuck them above his ears. He blinks a few times as his eyes adjust. "You look like a mess."

I laugh, my heart feeling lighter. "I know."

Harley's eyes travel from to Angel, who's standing a good distance away from the bed. "You know, Angel. My boyfriend."

"Hey," Harley greets. "I would wave, but I can't."

Angel nods at Harley. "Hey."

For some reason, their acknowledging each other made me feel so much better. Angel has no reason to hate Harley, but Harley has all the reasons to dislike him.

He deserved the entire world and more.

And I wished I could give it to him. 

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a/n: i have a lotta work. i gtg, and do that.

what do you think of harley? 

angel? 

madison?

thank you so much for reading! it means smm! i love you all sooo much!!

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